Given that thousands of hard-earned dollars are spent on engagement rings bought with the best of intentions, here is the question: Would a real woman give a man back his engagement ring if the relationship broke off after one year? Here are what several people I interviewed, including two professional psychiatrists, had to say. A real woman would give the ring back because of what it symbolizes: the fact you plan to spend the rest of your lives together. So why would you want to keep a symbol of such when you are no longer a couple? On the other hand, a “hoodrat” or a “low-class” type of woman will want to keep the ring. --Anthony, 35 A real woman would give the ring back. --Ms. Ally, 33 How long did you say we were engaged, and who broke up with who? (I thought this was an interesting question. Let’s say you have been engaged for one year and he broke up with you.) I would keep the ring because I would be pissed off; however, if I were the one to break off the relationship, I would return the ring. --Ms. Julie, 35 (Ms. Carla was asked the same question but with the one year relationship increased to five years). I would give back the ring if it had only been one year, because it would not be worth the headache. But if it were a five-year engagement that was broken off, I would keep the ring for putting up with his shit for all those years. Now that’s a real woman. --Ms. Carla, 43 It’s really a question of ethics, as opposed to being a real woman or not. So ethically, why would you want to keep the ring when the relationship is over? --Dr. L, female, 50 Obviously if we break up, you cannot force the woman to give back the ring, but I would like her to give it back. --Jesse, male, 30 A real woman would give back the ring that connotes the relationship, inferring that if it is over you should give back the gift that symbolized the union of commitment. --Dr. J, male, 45 A real woman would give the ring back. --Daniel, 32 A real woman would keep the ring if the man broke it off with her, and if she broke it off with him, she would give the ring back. A real woman, in my opinion, is someone who radiates life, wisdom, self-confidence, knowledge and beauty. --Buck, 50 I would not expect a real woman to give the ring back because it was like a birthday present. --Brendon, 24 (Before I could get the question out of my mouth well, and without much thought) A real woman would give the ring back because the commitment was not fulfilled. --Nicole, 36 If there was proper closure, I would give the ring back. However, if there was no closure, because he cheated or I was too hurt or angry to talk about the breakup, I would throw the ring in the trash! (Yikes!) But, if I knew the ring was expensive or a family heirloom, I would find a way to give it back to him, as I am a firm believer in karma. I define a real woman as being just like my mother; someone who has morals and modesty, is firm but loving all at the same time, is a good provider, anticipates the needs of her family and most importantly, has a relationship with God. --Ms. Marcela, 42 So ladies, it is now time to check yourself. Are you a real woman? I have personally had three women over the past 20-plus years to whom I was engaged, and out of the three, one who became my wife. Out of the remaining two fiancées, one gave me the ring back after a seven-year relationship, and the other kept the ring.
1. Change The Way You Think
When it comes to matters of the heart, we're all guilty of making excuses about why we didn't put ourselves out there. But contrary to popular belief, it isn't easier said than done. Laurel's advice?
"Trying" is a pre-emptive excuse for failure or not doing it at all. Do your best. Have zero excuses. If you don’t find success, make a midcourse correction and try a different tact. Keep at it until you do find success."