[Editor's note: As a certified relationship coach, motivational speaker, and author, Stephan Labossiere has one mission in mind: to help men and women overcome the challenges that hinder their search for fulfilling relationships. He's appeared as an expert on ABC as well as Huffington Post Live. Here, exclusively for YourTango, Labossiere outlines three romantic red flags.]
Everybody enjoys being loved, but many struggle to embrace it as they should. You may be one of those people, and up to this point, you may not have accepted that fact. You are certainly not alone in your struggle, and now it's time to gain some clarity on this possible issue. So continue to read and be prepared to do some self reflection. Here are three signs you're not ready for true love.
You Run From The Best
When you're not ready for true love, dating is much easier because it consists of people who you couldn't truly see yourself with longterm. They may be great to have fun with, and help you get your mind off of things, yet they don't possess that extra "something" that would make you want to go the distance with them. A person who makes you feel like you never have before will likely send you running for your life. This person is a real threat to forcing you out of your comfort zone. They make you feel vulnerable, and for you, that is downright scary. You react this way probably because of the next sign.
You Haven't Healed From The Past
Many of us are walking around holding on to the hurt and pain that we experienced in the past. You may not realize it, but it is having a huge impact on your ability to give and receive love in the present. Moving past the issue does not necessarily mean you have properly addressed and resolved the issue within yourself. Because of this, you will consciously or subconsciously do all that you can to prevent yourself from being vulnerable and experiencing that hurt again. There is a great quote in my book God Where Is My Boaz that states "the same walls that you have up to protect you, are the same walls that are blocking your blessings." Healing is necessary, and without it, you aren't going to be ready or able to handle all the things that true love presents and provides.
The constant need to have control in relationships isn't born out of love; it's born out of fear. It goes hand in hand with the fact that healing is lacking, so you're not willing to embrace a person who you don't feel in control with emotionally. True love is an extremely vulnerable experience, and control pretty much flies out the window in its presence. This is why you may fly away and keep your distance from the person that is truly best for you. If you can't deal with not being in control, I can assure you that you will struggle with true love. It is essential to bring the guard of control down if you truly want to experience the joy of true love. It isn't easy, but you can do it, and you will be better off in the long run because of it.
Chances are if one of these apply to you, then they all will apply to you to some extent. You may have overlooked these issues, or deemed them as irrelevant, but it's time for a change. You deserve all the great things that life and love has to offer. Don't allow lingering negative energy to block you from the positive path you need to be on. A path filled with growth, triumph, and most certainly, true love.
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