Guys, We Don't Want Your Money; We Want To Be Courted

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Guys, We Don't Want Your Money; We Want To Be Courted
The real problem with "So, do you mind splitting the check?"

Men also forget all the time and money women spend pre-date; a new outfit, waxing, shaving, makeup and hair. Consider this: according to the survey by Match.com 65 percent of women spend $50 or more on pre-date grooming and clothing, (and no contrary to popular thought we don't dress for other women. That only happens at Vogue.)

Don't want to spend money on the first date? I'm guessing many women would rather not spend the time or money shaving, putting on makeup, choosing an outfit and blow drying their hair. Not to mention teetering in high heels, donning crippling Spanx, and strapping on push up bras. But alas, most of us don't wake up looking runway-ready. Even though most guys claim not to notice all the things that women do to primp, I'm also guessing most men would be horrified to see a girl show up to a date with hairy legs, under-eye circles and a Brillo pad for hair like I have when I wake up. If the catcalls of the (albeit tacky) men of New York are any indication, men much prefer women who are put together.

If we're really talking about gender equality, then yes we should just split everything down the middle. And I'll stop waxing my hoo ha. Personally, I'd be perfectly fine walking around with a full bush and not subjecting myself to a Russian women barking at me on all fours while ripping my pubic hair out. But dating isn't about gender equality. Dating is about that dance between two people. Flirting and courting and chivalry, no matter how old-fashioned, is a part of that.

From a financial standpoint, I'm far from needing or wanting a man to pay for my lifestyle. But I do want to be swept off my feet. I want doors opened. Bugs killed. Dragons slayed! Of all the things my boyfriend has done for me, the most memorable one was surprising me with balloons that had hidden notes in them. Expensive? No. Thoughtful and caring? Yes. And I saved every sticky note inside.

I'm in no way suggesting that a woman doesn't start chipping in after the first 2-3 dates. In fact, when my boyfriend realized that he brought me to a cash-only restaurant with no cash on our second date, I forked out the money without batting an eyelash. The fact that I knew he was interested in more than an easy fling, he told me he liked me, texted me within 24 hours of our first date and had already asked me out for a third date, made it easy for me to pay.

Why? Because he was courting me. And 2013 be damned, it felt good.

 

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