Never Orgasm During Sex? You're Not Alone, Sista! Help Is Here

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Help! I Can't Orgasm During Sex!
Exclusive! Sexpert Emily Morse helps the O-less find their "orgasmic groove."

[Emily Morse is a celebrity sexpert and host of Sex with Emily, a weekly radio show and top downloaded podcast on iTunes. In 2012, the Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight author starred in Bravo's Miss Advised. Each month, Emily will provide her best tips for a steamy sex life right here on YourTango.]

"What's wrong with me? I can't orgasm during intercourse."

It's the most popular question I get asked from women time and time again.

Nothing is wrong with you. Doesn't that make you feel better? Only about 30% of women achieve orgasm during penetration alone.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's  talk about all the different orgasms you can experience.

I know what you're thinking: "Different orgasms?!? I just want to orgasm during sex, period." It can be challenging for many women to have orgasms with a man's penis alone. (Sorry, guys). The amazing news is you can have an orgasm during intercourse if you pay more attention to your clitoris. There are so many types of orgasms you can have,  and you don't even need a partner to experience them.

And once you find your orgasmic groove the possibilities are endless.

Here are some different orgasms you should experience multiple times in your lifetime.

Clitoral Orgasm: Most women need external, clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. This is why it's so difficult for women to orgasm during intercourse. Most sex positions focus on internal stimulation, without giving the clitoris the love it needs. This can be easily solved by rubbing your clitoris during sex, having your partner use his hands, or try sex positions that give you the stimulation you need. Try using a vibrator during sex for some extra oomph to get you over the edge.


Internal Orgasm: Some women can orgasm as a direct result of penetration. I want to give you G-spot ladies a big hug for all your good fortune.

If you're not having internal orgasms during sex with your partner, you can still have fun finding your G-spot. Make a come hither motion with your fingers inside your vagina. The G-spot is a little bump roughly two-inches inside the vagina. Massage it with your fingers and explore new sensations.  Better yet, invite your partner to give you a G-spot massage.  Many women first discover their G-spot using fingers and not during intercourse.

 

Multiple Orgasms: The female orgasm is awesome because women don't require a refractory period to recover between orgasms like men do. The orgasms can literally keep on coming all night.

Sequential orgasms happen one after each other with a minute or so in between. If you want to have sequential orgasms make sure you're getting a lot of clitoral stimulation. If you're stimulated enough, your body will have no choice but to orgasm again and again.

 

Blended Orgasms: If you can have a G-spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm, why not have them both at the same time?  This means you probably need a lot of external and internal stimulation at the same time.  Try doggie style with a clitoral vibrator and let the orgasms roll.

And here's a bonus tip: Kegel exercises. Just like you work out your other muscles in your body, the pelvic floor muscles can be strengthened to help you achieve even stronger or more frequent orgasms. Everyone says you can do them at traffic lights or wherever,  but who really remembers? That's why I created my iPhone app Kegel Camp. Set a daily reminder on your phone, and you'll be well on your way to orgasm heaven.
 
Remember, life is too short not to orgasm. Enjoy it, whether it's your G-spot, clitoris, or the thigh master at the gym that gets you there.

Want more sex and relationship tips? Listen to Sex With Emily podcasts on iTunes and follow Sex with Emily on Twitter and Facebook!

 

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