If you were recently in a relationship, committed or friendly, and it’s all over now but you’re not ready to let go yet, what can you do? What if you’re still in love with him or think that this might be “the one”? You want him back but you don’t know the first thing about how to win back his love and affection. Well, instead of employing the trial and error approach, why don’t you try something that’s tried and true?
Think back to what your ex-partner said, what is HIS reason for breaking up? Was it clear or vague? You might even need to send him a simple text message or email asking him, “In your opinion, what went wrong with us?” and just show him that your intentions are sincere.
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You want to know because you need closure and you want to grow as a person, period. And if you know his reasons for leaving the relationship, then think back and analyze them. Maybe there’s something in his words or actions that you missed. Ask someone who is in a successful relationship what his reasons were, and this person can shed some insight on your ex-partner’s side of things.
Once you know the problem, see if there’s some truth in it. And if he wrote down his reasons for leaving, you can write back about only the parts you agree with. Don’t write anything negative. After that, learn to do “your own thing.” Take your time. Do not pursue him anymore. Do not contact him. For at least three weeks, do not even show up at events you think he might be at on the weekends. Do not be tempted to call; you may even want to delete his number.
After some time has passed, it’s time to reach out. You should be very casual and nonchalant and call him to “catch up” or text him a simple “hey, how have you been?” If he does not answer, do not worry; just try again after a couple of days.
Keep the conversation short and sweet. After this, if you hear he is going to be at an event, try to attend. If not, you can try to contact him again for another casual conversation. The best option is to show up somewhere you know he is going to be.
When you see each other, once again try to keep it casual and sweet, like you are just old friends catching up. When you leave the event, be sure to say goodbye and that “it would be nice to catch up sometime soon.” After this event, wait a while. It might take a week, two weeks, etc... but they key here is patience (something we all seem to be lacking these days). Let HIM come to you. You must not be the needy, desperate, or pushy by constantly calling or contacting him.
Above all, during this time apart, work on YOURSELF. Sure, he’s not perfect and he probably caused problems too, but the reality is: you can’t change him, you can only change yourself. YOU are the only person you have ANY control over.
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Many times, if you start to fix the problems within you, for example if you begin to be more understanding, trusting, or patient, your partner will notice. Once he notices, it will be natural for him to change too. He will begin to listen more to YOUR needs. After all, when he comes back to you, how do you know he will stay if nothing changed? So be patient, and focus on you.
“What to do to get him back?” I think that this question will not bother you if you just follow above simple steps.