How to reboot your love life with EFT to break bad love patterns
The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) has been getting alot of press lately. EFT has been applied to various areas of life where people are struggling out of bad love habits. EFT practitioner Alina Frank has created a Reboot program based on the principles of tapping to break a person out of their bad love patterns.
How is the Reboot System designed to break patterns that prevent someone from being in the love relationship they desire?
In the package you receive four EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques or Tapping) combined with Matrix Reimprinting (an advance form of EFT) designed to uncover those patterns and resolve them at their core. The resolved emotional contributing patterns from the past and fears prevent one from sending a clear message on a vibrational level that one is ready, willing, and able to enter into a rich fulfilling soulmate/earthmate relationship. An example from my practice was a recent client who always entered into relationships where she was mostly ignored. Together we discovered that this pattern had been set up early in her life with a father who was emotionally unavailable. We spent most of those sessions focusing on that time period in order to really do a thorough job of pulling all the roots out of this issue. My client has now entered into what looks like a possible ideal relationship but she’s taking her time evaluating him through the process we discussed. Even if this isn’t “the one” the pattern has been broken and she will draw to herself the right partner. I have seen this happen hundreds of times with clients over the years.
Can you walk me through the four sessions and how they break a pattern permanently for a person?
The first session is always about establishing rapport, teaching my client the basics of EFT so they can do their homework properly, and also focusing on what is happening in the present i.e. are they in a relationship, how long it’s been, are they dating, etc. During the first session I start to look for the different patterns that are common in men seeking partners or women seeking partners. 99% of singles fall into a list I have of different dysfunctional vibrational patterns and once we’ve identified the dominant ones we can start to break them. The second and third sessions are focused on releasing beliefs and negative impacts of events that have caused the pattern to have started in the first place. The final session is focusing on the template for moving forward and we also release fears about entering into a new relationship.
How does EFT work exactly?
EFT is a unique process that began almost 20 years ago by a man named Gary Craig in California. Gary combined elements of traditional Chinese medicine with neuro-linguistic programing (NLP). There are lots of theories about the science backing EFT and my husband, Dr. Craig Weiner, actually did a series of videos explaining all of them on our www.efttappingtraining.com site. A short answer is that negative emotions are nothing more than a disruption in the meridian energy system.
Let me step back and explain that the meridian system is the system used within the 5000 year old system of medicine established in China. Most people know that this is what acupuncturist use and in EFT we utilize a few of the hundreds of specific points that an acupuncturists would use to insert their needles. There are about 9 points we use in EFT because they are very close to the surface of the skin and can be activated by tapping with your fingertips. So you can see that this would then make it portable as no needles are involved and the work can be done over the phone or on Skype.
When we think about a painful event from our pasts this creates a disruption in the energy that travels in the meridians. The energy is called Chi. When Chi is freely flowing we are healthy, peaceful, prosperous, and can attract what it is that we desire. When the Chi is blocked then just the reverse can happen. When we combine specific statements to bring the problem up to the surface while tapping on those points the blockage or disruption is gone. When do this thoroughly you will feel completely different about those events and the beliefs you once held are transformed permanently. I also wanted to mention that EFT enables the subconscious mind to give us the answers and connections we need elegantly and easily. Many of the blocks that people experience are locked in the subconscious for a variety of reasons.
What is Matrix Re-Imprinting in the context of EFT?
Matrix Reimprinting is an advanced form of EFT. One needs to know EFT in order to use Matrix. Matrix feels different than EFT and uses our latest understanding of quantum physics, the intelligence of the heart field (as used in HeartMath), and the compulsion to repeat traumas.
How does Matrix Re-Imprinting work exactly?
It uses the energetic disruption that is trapped in the body field to resolve the issue. When you experience shock or any experience for that matter that leaves you feeling hopeless, alone and that your expectations have been violated then energetically a part of you breaks off but stays in your field. It’s a defensive mechanism that worked at the time but what lives in your energy field is indeed what you attract. In a Matrix session we go back and interact with that younger part of you, release the trauma and that part of you that knows what’s needed for ultimate resolution will do what it needs to say that couldn’t be said at the time, do what it needs to do that they couldn’t do at the time or bring in some other resources that weren’t available to them. It’s a complicated process but makes complete sense when examined through the lens of neuroplasticity, and the true nature of what makes up a memory.
You described to me about a client who finally found her true love after a series of boyfriends who cheated on her with her sisters. In your work with her you traced it to her mother becoming distant every time she had a new baby. How exactly did EFT break this spell so to speak?
We collapsed the pain that this little girl felt and then we Reimprinted a new version where mother was completely available, loving and reassuring.
How come just doing EFT from YouTube videos doesn't work for some relationship patterns that are destructive for people?
I have been a trainer and mentor for EFT (Matrix for a few years) besides having a private practice for close to a decade now so I have been privy to the fact that it’s been a blessing and a curse to have these techniques so widespread. The reality is that a Youtube video where you are tapping for issue is actually ineffective by and large. How can a Youtube video address your unique and particular issue and the underlying connections and associations you built due to your personal history. In EFT we believe that your biography creates your biology and your ability to have what you want. A Youtube video can’t possibly discover that the reason why you subconsciously are afraid of men turning you down is because you were excluded from the club house that little Joey made for boys only when you were 7 years old. These videos also mislead the public into believing that everything can be resolved in a session or two or even in a few minutes of a Youtube video, that’s comical to me.
Once sometime completes the Reboot system on a relationship pattern is it truly transformed for them? How can you measure that for accuracy?
This really depends on the extent of trauma the person has experienced in their lives. What I like to do is to have my clients assess where things are at, observe the broke pattern, and continue to do some homework assignments to then see if they are complete or need more sessions. Most don’t and call me in the future to work on other issues that they just can’t seem to knock out on their own.
Are there other issues that Reboot has been applied to? If so, what kinds of results and situations were they?
Well, in my private practice I specialize in intimacy and relationship but because I mentor and train EFT coaches I am asked to work on all sorts of issues. EFT works on the premise that everything we encounter as humans includes emotions and feeling around them. If you are constantly in a fear state around money for instance it’s not likely that you will attract very much. We also understand that behind physical issues are an environment in the body that is either constantly healing the body or harm the body – stress is the #1 contributing factor to illness and disease.
Have you ever encountered someone who needed more than one Reboot series to finally break out of a bad pattern? If so, why were they so resistant?
I wouldn’t say that they are resistant per se, I would say that there are more blocks created by more past events. We get amazing results with EFT but some issues do take longer to resolve.