I was struck by YourTango's recently article written by Dori Hartley and titled "Embracing The 'Invisible Woman': How I Learned To Age & Stay Sexy." Despite what the writer may say, your 'sexiness' has nothing to do with age. It's about whether your confidence is coming from within or not.
I never turned heads when I was younger. I was always 'the invisible woman' and my identity was based on something other than my sex appeal. When I was younger, this was hurtful, but I overcame my own insecurities. In a way, it forced me to be comfortable in my own skin.
At 23, I discovered Candace Bushnell's Sex And The City and I decided to take cues from the Samantha Jones character. I got comfortable in my own skin, but declined being a woman on the prowl. Instead, I sought out ways to make myself enjoy life. I focused on being with good friends and enjoying my own company until eventually, I didn't even notice it. To be honest, I'm glad I was never a bombshell type because getting older doesn't bother me. I never turned heads; I could never turn a man into a mess over me. Nope. I never had that power. What I did have was the choice on how to handle the experience. My choice was to not allow it to define me.
I took more pride in myself. I never had plastic surgery, but I changed my lifestyle and lost weight by taking up dance and restyling my wardrobe. Now, nearly 15 years later, when I catch a man looking at me, I assume he's looking at someone else. He may think I am someone else or just curious who this stranger is. Today, I turned down a date with a younger man who — at 26 — thought I was his age instead of much older than him. Where were the men when I was the same age? They were chasing the bombshells and didn't see me. I was rarely picked up in bars and that's okay. I was never 'the sexy one' and came to peace with it a long time ago.
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