The Mindset Shift that Will Drastically Change Your Relationships

The Mindset Shift that Will Drastically Change Your Relationships

The Mindset Shift that Will Drastically Change Your Relationships


Relationships are challenging, if not one of the most challenging things we ever experience.

We can all think of at least one relationship we’ve had where we experienced struggle, heartache, disappointment, stress, and pain in our own unique way.

Though relationships are very complex, there is one realization that I made about a year ago that forever changed the way I viewed and acted in relationships. As a result, my relationships have been much more fulfilling and much less stressful.


The realization?

To completely accept people as they are in that present moment.

So what does that mean? Well, for starters it means to not expect someone to do something that they are not completely capable of. For instance, my boyfriend is much more logical and rational than I am. He is driven for data and using concrete systems. I, on the other hand, am much more driven by emotions. I’m naturally empathetic and I can’t do something if I don’t “feel” a drive to do it. So whenever there is a conflict, should I hold an expectation that he needs to develop his empathy and emotional connection? No. He is at his own unique stage of development and I am at my own unique stage. He has his strengths and weaknesses and I have mine.

Now lets go a next step deeper. Lets say I have a co-worker who is still fairly a new acquaintance but we’re beginning to develop more of a friendship. I bring up a topic that is of interest to me, like going to a yin yang yoga class. He responds with, “Oh, you’re interested in THAT…” and then seems to label me as being some sort of “new age freak” though he didn’t directly say that.

Habitually, I feel disappointed, rejected, and maybe a bit of an urge to get defensive and “try to teach him”. I may also feel the need to hide this layer of myself just so I can avoid any future judgement. Instead, I simply recognize the state he is in, accept that in this present moment we are at two different stages and let it be. I don’t expect him to understand or change anything about himself right now. Rather, I may just casually back away from the relationship a bit and act accordingly knowing that, at this point in time, we are not equals.

The struggle many of us have, deep down, is that we hope that every person we get relatively close to can be our equal or even that one person will always be our equal, but it’s just not realistic. We are all constantly changing, evolving, and growing in our own unique ways. Seasons change and so do people. The moment that can be fully recognized and accepted is the moment when we completely change the course of all our future relationship dynamics.

Begin this shift TODAY!

Ask yourself: What have I been expecting from people only to be let down time and time again? Realistically, what is this person’s strengths or weaknesses at this time? What ARE they capable of and how can I appreciate that?

Jennifer Twardowski is a self and relationship expert. She is the founder of, where she helps young women break their people pleasing habits so that they can develop fulfilling relationships and personal empowerment. Click here to grab a copy of her FREE guide: "Discover What You Really Want (And Clear Out Everyone Else's "Stuff").

This article was originally published at Jennifer Twardowski, Create a Life of Love. Reprinted with permission from the author.