What a day for a surprise or was it? After finding my footing finally after nearly a year of nursing a broken heart a gift arrived in my email. My former love coach offered me a free seminar of her "Online Dating for the One" teleseminar. The gesture was odd and I wasn't sure if it was a sincere show of support towards my love goals or a condescending message. Nothing in Kathryn Alice's response seemed to indicate that she took accountability for how her carelessly chosen words made me feel.
My personal love mentor Tamara Green, along with relationship experts Heather Strang and Debi Berndt, have been instrumental is guiding me out of a victim mentality into one where I see how much I create my own life. Working with these people and their compassion in itself has been healing. All of them treat me as an individual. No cookie-cutter approach in my personal opinion.
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Back in the late fall of 2012, I had asked my former love coach if going to in-person mixers and having my dating profile rewritten would increase my odds of meeting more people offline. Her response, which was on a recorded teleseminar was, "I don't what to say you're lazy but you are. You are trying to substitute external actions for the deep inner work required to magnetize your soulmate". For the record, I still have the mp3 file of that seminar. So, what was strange was the email that I received which implied something else.
This was the same love and soulmate guru who told me to have a fling because my second chakra was closed since I had not been with a man for a while. She used the words "opener" and said that an opener was a good way to create a template for what I was looking for in a soulmate and experience closeness again. Excuse me, but NO, NON, NEIN, I respect myself and my physical body too much to engage in an "opener".
In her own words: BLOCK 2: SEXUALLY CLOSED, SHUT DOWN IN YOUR 2nd CHAKRA. If you have not had sex in a long time; if those of interest to you often tell you that they see you only as a friend (“the friend zone”); if you’re in a dating desert or just clam up when you meet someone attractive to you, this might be your block.
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Given that I am possessed with an engineering mind, I went to work with this by starting Tantra classes with Devi Ward. She didn't see a block. Her observation was simply that my heart and second chakra are deeply connected. This means I am not someone who can hook-up like Samantha Jones in Sex and the City. Unless I love the person there is no passionate exchange.
Besides, didn't you also tell me and write in your book that one should keep their "love cup" empty for my soulmate only? I don't have a moral issue with flings. They are just not for me. I've taken a lover for a season (the French way of taking a lover) in the past and while it was an overall positive experience, I'm done with having lovers.