Love mentor Tamara Green explains the difference.
For a while now I’ve come to the conclusion that being rejected by the man I call Captain America was the catalyst to my becoming an amateur scientist on the dynamics of dating and relationships. Between absorbing the expertise and wisdom of Matthew Hussey, Debi Berndt, Heather Strang, Tamara Green, and many others I’ve grown a lot, learned a lot, and see significant others very differently.
However, it was my matchmaker Anni Powers (the female Matthew Hussey) who got me thinking or re-evaluating just who did the rejecting in the past. There was a moment when I mentioned to a man that my co-worker looked like co-worker Michael Fassbender, so much so that I told him to become a model. Looking back that was not something that I should have said but back then Matthew Hussey’s coaching had not entered my consciousness.
The man replied to me that people told him he looked like Colin Farrell. My response was, oh yeah, you do. The vibe I gave was that I hadn’t noticed but I did. I sure did. Just thought that it was better to play cool since I was trembling on the inside. The truth is, I noticed, and I actually thought he was the better looking version of Colin. Colin looks like him except somewhat ravaged by years of smoking cigarettes and Jack Daniels.
Anni's take on the dialogue was that maybe, just maybe, Captain America was looking for a green light that (A) I found him as attractive as my co-worker, and (B) that I was attracted and possibly interested in him. Unfortunately my response was lukewarm. At the time it never occured to me that his comments were his way of trying to find out where he stood with me. I simply thought he was just following my line of thinking. If my matchmaker is right then even though I was a yes I came across like a no. Uh-oh.
So this had me thinking, wondering, pondering just how much I may have totally blown my chance at getting to know Captain America better. If Carrie Bradshaw had Mr. Big at least she had him for a while before landing him. I never got off the ground with Captain America. The key lesson for me in all of this was to get out of my own way.
Another thing that came to mind was that maybe there was a chance why I lived my life as much as possible in a squeaky clean fashion. To elaborate on that I’m going to first describe what Tamara Green said to me about acoustic connections versus electrical ones. Tamara asked me if what drew me to Captain America felt like an electrical attraction. My first interpretation of what she said was the image of Magneto in X-Men: First Class magnetizing metallic objects and bending them to his will.
Before I could answer Tamara said that the other kind of attraction is acoustic. She explained that this was a kind of wavy energy, with ebbs and flows, like the ocean. Acoustic connection feels deep, like strong currents of electromagnetic frequency, but ultimately very peaceful. In contrast the electrical connection is intense, like lighting, has a shock effect to the system, and is characterized by intense excitement and almost a trance like possession where perception is altered. Tamara also said that more divorces seem to happen between those with electric connections because of the burn out rate of that kind of “love voltage”.
So my answer was simple. The vibe I felt for Captain America felt acoustic. The peaceful element that I felt made me so comfortable that (A) the first time he asked what I did after High School I admitted that I dropped out of my first college after sophomore year to work in PR, (B) that I have to take Adderall so I can pay attention to him when the last pill’s effects began wearing off, and (C) how I’m prone to being mistrustful of 99.9% of humanity most of the time. I have never admitted that so quickly to a man I was actually attracted to. So why did I? Energetically speaking, he felt as comfortable to be around as one of my closest female friends for over 15 years. Her name is Alison and oddly enough she used to be a probation officer.
Speaking of my more common state of mistrust, over the last decade, I’ve become somewhat of an amateur profiler. When I meet someone new it’s instant friend or foe assessment. People tell me that this kind of fear is preventing love but then again, there is a reason folks like Alison are perfect pals for me. They get why it’s really not paranoia but just a realistic assessment of some members of the human race.
Getting back to my comment about why there may have been more than one reason why my soul was compelled to walk a clean line my whole adult life, it was acoustic. Perhaps on some level I sensed that my past would never be far from evaluation. On the surface, it had to so with knowing I’d one day move to another country. People have been denied tourist visas into Canada because of a DUI conviction in the U.S. when they were 22, even if it happened over 20 years ago.
My father always told me to live my life drama free. His dad was a cop and before that had been a POW of the Japanese in WWII. I know for a fact that my father’s parenting style mimicked his dad. My point is, I grew up very aware that choices in youth can have a permanent consequence. Guilt and innocence sometimes really does come down to association.
So there was a second important reason why I made my mind up to walk that clean line at age 21 regarding every choice I made from that moment on. At 21 I discovered that my parents and siblings were moving to California but I could not join them yet. I had to wait. In that waiting time I made that choice and had the conviction to carry it through from then on. Maybe, just maybe, it had to do with fate. On a super conscious or soul level it had to do with an inner knowing that one day I would meet someone like him. Beyond just the psychic predictions something within me urged my soul to live that way and it was easy to.
Upon further introspection I do believe that acoustic connections are the reason why we meet someone and just know they are meant to be a lifelong friend. Soul connections are not based on time. For example, I feel like I have known some people much longer than the time we really have been connected. The reason is the acoustic resonance that had us sensing one another was out there all along until we physically met.
Electrical connections are like thunderbolts because in my opinion you weren’t sensing one another before the moment you met. So when you do, you’re electrocuted, and frantically have to be together. Whenever someone says that they saw the person and from that moment they were taken, it’s an example of an electrical connection at play. It’s more instant, like a firecracker, and feels like dynamite for better or worse.
Many people, including Captain America, had Cupid’s Arrow aka electrical connection zapping them when they met their spouses or now ex-spouses. I tell them they are lucky even if they didn’t stay together because some people never get struck by Cupid. For me, never knowing that kind of life altering magic moment, is much sadder than losing a “once in a lifetime” love. When I was younger I wished that love would happen for me the electrical “Magneto” way where a man would see me, and just have to have me. Now, I’m not so sure.
All I know is that my true love real deal connection is going to be acoustic and Anni Powers is going to match me with him.