How being a love advocate led me to love mentor Tamara Green
Finding my bliss was a nickname derived from the second group coaching call with Tamra Green, a licensed social worker, hypnotherapist, and love mentor trained by Dr. Diana Kirschner. We all got nicknames on our group call. Each person picked a moniker related to the state of love. Love cannot be defined but it can be described. One adjective is bliss.
Bliss is an emotional state of perfect happiness and contentment. In Heather Strang’s book Following Bliss the two characters are led to one another and into a mutual state of bliss. Tamara and Heather are some of the many people who have helped me see the gift in love disappointments from my past, including with other love coaches and their programs. That gift has lead me to focus on writing on relationships from a place of being a love advocate of sorts. After seeing many people harmed and not helped I decided to write about those mentors more likely to be helpful on the journey to love. So, when Tamara asked me to select a nickname, bliss was it.
Tamara is not your average love or dating coach. For one thing, she knows what she is doing. Not everyone does. They may all mean well but training varies. In fact, there is no set formula to become a love mentor. It comes down to a good match with you and your mentor. However, quality training in the mental health profession is a must in many people’s experiences. Tamara explains why in the following interview.
There are a lot of love and dating coaches out there in the marketplace. What is your approach and philosophical orientation when it comes to supporting people through their quest for a meaningful relationship?
My approach is both psychological and spiritual (through “feel”). Even though I am a highly trained professional, who understands the workings of the mind and ego, I do my best work with clients (either individually or in groups) when I use my gifts as a Seer and Energy Healer. Since childhood, I have had the ability to see and feel energy, which helps me to zero in to what’s really going on with someone and how they are blocking themselves from love. Once we find the source of the problem, I assist them in releasing it once and for all. I was once told by a client that I “released [her] Soul from prison.”
How does being trained as a Social Worker play into your coaching? Finding love can trigger someone in a way that could need a trained psychotherapist.
Love and dating can be huge triggers for most people. Many deep and primal fears get kicked up. Most of these fears stem from childhood, and the benefits of working with a highly trained professional, like me, is sometimes life-saving. Besides being a Love and Relationship Expert, I have had a Manhattan-based psychotherapy private practice for 24 years, did my post graduate training in Couples and Family therapy, am a certified hypnotherapist, a certified Awakening Coach, and also a highly trained Love Mentor®.
Besides all this, I have delivered courses and workshops in personal growth and beliefs management. And, most importantly, I have a deeply loving relationship with myself. The combination of my vast training, life experience and self-love is golden. I am very passionate about what I do. My clients often express how transformative the sessions are for them. I assist clients on how to authentically love themselves, which is key to creating and attracting a profoundly loving relationship.
What led you to do this kind of work? Was there anything about Dr. Kirschner's work that appealed to you over other relationship systems out there?
Love Mentoring® fell into my lap. A mutual friend of mine and of Dr Kirschner called me one day and said, “Tamara, I think that you would make an amazing Love Mentor®.” Something inside of me said “yes” and the next thing I knew I was in her training program, passing her exams and then mentoring clients. Dr Kirschner is a true Love Guru and I have learned so much from her.
Tell me what your Miracle Mondays Meditations are about and your intention for holding them?
I have been meditating for many years and have experienced its many benefits - of quieting the chatty mind so that one can tune in to incredible possibilities. For years, I have held a monthly meditation group in my New York home. One morning, while in a meditative state, a very loud message came through to me, which was to expand on what I had already started – a weekly International meditation group via conference calls. It soon became a huge success. Elle Magazine calls me the “Soul-centered” Love and Relationship Expert.
I personally love the weekly calls because I am passionate about helping people to tune in to their Higher Self. To know your Self is to love yourself. To love your Self is to be a magnet for others to love you – a perfect way to attract your soul mate. Also, I found that my clients who commit to listening to these recorded meditations every day have amazing results. They experience rapid personal growth and transformation. I have been told that each meditation is like having a personal session with me. You can sign up for these free meditation calls at http://tamaragreen.me/free-meditation-group/
Finding love is an inside out phenomenon, in my opinion, and being one's best self and an open invitation to connect with others is important to finding and attracting love. In contrast I've noticed that there are many other love coaches that try to put men and women into a template. What are your thoughts on why the inside out strategy is just as effective if not more so than the other approach?
If you don’t authentically love yourself (inner work), then true love is not possible. You may think you “love” someone, when actually you are needing them – which over time, creates stress on a relationship. True loving is a communion with someone, rather than a need of validation or worth. Therefore, if you are sick and tired and overwhelmed with your love and dating life, then it’s time to dig deep and see what’s really going on. There’s no quick fix.
Even though I believe that the actions you take (outer work) are very important, the first step, always, is to see what’s been getting in your way to finding the loving relationship that you not only desire, but deserve.
How does your individual love coaching versus group coaching differ?
Both are powerful and effective. The differences between them are the intensity of each session and the duration of the program. My individual session package is typically three months long. These clients receive 1-on-1 transformative activations and processes in each call that are tailored just for them. For those who choose my teleclass called GroupLove, they receive two-90 minute sessions per month for a total of six months. In these group calls, I offer powerful activations and processes, as well. These are very interactive group sessions.
For example, someone will ask a question or pose a problem that they are having, at which time I may take them through a process, which everyone on the call benefits from. Both individual and GroupLove include Q&A back up between sessions. For those who are able to follow my advice, do the assigned homework and stay committed, the results can be quite successful, whether they chose individual or group session packages.
In a nutshell, how would you explain what a Love Mentor is and the kind of training you had with Dr. Kirschner?
I am a Love and Relationship Expert who provides 1-on-1 and group mentoring sessions by phone or Skype to help you find an amazing partner, including your soul mate, overcome relationship problems and ultimately create the lasting and committed relationship you want. Clients have overcome dead-end dating patterns and become/stay happily married.
Knowledgeable and devoted, I offer in-person, phone and email sessions that provide inspiration, support and powerful relationship and dating advice. I offer a free 45 minute intro session by phone or Skype so you can experience this powerful process. You can register by going to http://tamaragreen.me/contact-me/
I also like to tell people that I have personal experience of finding and marrying my soul mate. After years of love and dating “lessons” (which most women would classify as “disasters”) I finally tied the knot at age 36. Therefore, I know what it feels like to be out there in the trenches of the love and dating world.
Are there particular patterns that are common, and that you have noticed in your practice, that prevent a person from manifesting the kind of love relationship they are seeking?
Most people approach love and dating from fear of being hurt, rejected, vulnerable, etc. But, that is the very thing that blocks them from what they most desire. They also use their past experiences as a guide to how love and dating is for them. Here’s the truth. You are a highly creative and amazing being who can manifest whatever your heart desires. In other words, you don’t have to repeat the past, but rather, create something new altogether. The key, though, is to have your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions all in alignment with your target of a loving relationship. Most people are focused on what they fear and not what they want.
Do you recommend other modalities to complement the work you do with someone either in individual or group coaching sessions? If so, what are they?
I always recommend a spiritual practice to everyone. This is one of the reasons why I started my weekly Miracle Mondays Mediation calls. If meditation doesn’t resonate with you, then try personal growth courses, 12-step programs, or group therapy. Also, immerse yourself in books, DVD’s, CD’s, Mp3’s, teleclasses, webinars, telesummits, etc. that keep you on track, positive and motivated.
On average, how long have your mentoring programs last? For those that have come to you after disappointing results from other dating coaches, how do you work with them to clear from that experience in order to benefit from mentoring with you?
I have several session packages to choose from. The one that provides the most transformation is my 12–session package, which is three months of individual sessions or six months of GroupLove sessions. I also offer three or six 1-on-1 session packages. There is a package for every budget. For my clients who have had disappointing results from other dating coaches, I help them to see that it wasn’t a total waste of time and money. Every experience in life has degrees of benefit.
Having this point of view is empowering and completely kicks victimhood (or victim consciousness) in the butt. I help them to find what the gift was in their experience with the other coach. This is also what I have them do with past relationships or any other disappointments in their life. Most people think that it’s their experiences that shape their point of view. It’s actually the opposite. It’s your point of view that shapes your experiences. My coaching is all about helping people to shift their point of view from lack to abundance, which then creates the loving relationship that they dream of.