The court case is unscripted, but the writing's on the wall.
It seems The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice's glitzy (and gaudy?) lifestyle is anything but rooted in reality.
Yesterday, the TV villainous and her husband Juicy Joe Giudice were charged in a 39-count indictment with a conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud, bank fraud, making false statements on loan applications and bankruptcy fraud. Allegedly, they exaggerated their income while applying for loans before their TV show debut in 2009.
This comes after the couple's previous $10.85 million bankruptcy filing and, oh yeah, Joe is due back in court in October for allegedly fraudulently obtaining a New Jersey driver's license while his own took a DUI paid vacation. Then there's the cheating rumors and that c-u-next-Tuesday bomb Joe dropped on his wife on national TV last season. Oh Teresa.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but in comparison to the embarrassing behavior her in-laws and husband are displaying, Teresa actually looks ... like she has some manners. That elevated confidence might come from her ability to secure her own $500,000 bond, while Joe, an "entrepreneur," needed his father's signature to secure his own.
Seriously darling, it's time for you to enter that plea—ask for a divorce!
Your husband pushing a cameraman out of the way while heading into the courtroom (really bro, you're heading to federal court) pale in comparison to your in-laws' reaction to the possibility of their son being deported back to Italy. (Joe was born in Italy and not a U.S. citizen.) Frank and Filomena Giudice let loose their own colorful language after their trip inside the Newark, NJ courtroom, and Frank added a little merriment with visuals, including giving the press the finger. Classy and priceless.
Now we see where he gets it from.
While I'm secretly hoping for a table flip and yelling in the courtroom from Teresa at some point during the circus, it's clear that Teresa needs to salvage some kind of role model for her four children.
Cut the bloodline before it bleeds, Teresa.
But who are we kidding? With Bravo not commenting on the proceedings and Teresa vowing to continue working, she probably just secured the next season of Real Housewives or at the very least, a spin-off where her and her kids work in one of Joe's businesses … the latest is a pizza place, right? No, it was something else that brought in his whopping $26,000 annual salary last year.
How about a trial separation? (Ha—get it?) Just like those Jersey Shore kids invading Florence, we can send the Housewives cast and crew to Italy to visit Joe after his deportation.
Pay me, Bravo. I just came up with season six.
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