Four popular but untrue myths about men
By Janeen Diamond for Hope After Divorce
“Some men are actually very afraid of roller coasters.”
We women think we have men all figured out. Many of us believe they only care about three things: sex, food and sports. But the reality is, they are human beings who experience human emotions, and the sooner we accept that fact, the sooner we will begin to experience true joy in our relationships.
Let’s consider Billy Ray Cyrus for a moment. After 19 years of marriage, his wife Tish has filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. Billy seems like a pretty good guy. I’m sure he has his issues, but then so does Tish. He and his wife have five kids, and he seems supportive of his family – that’s no small thing. It’s apparent that the two of them have difficulty getting along at times, but who doesn’t?
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My advice to Tish would be to step back for a moment, stop talking to your girlfriends about your marital problems and talk to Billy instead. Consider the good that exists in your relationship, and remember that no one can ever take his place as a father to your children. Think ahead to the grandchildren. How nice it would be to have your family intact at that stage of your life so you can enjoy each other in the most intimate way? No deciding where the kids go for weekends and holidays; instead, everybody is together always. Now why didn’t I think of that years ago?
My experience has led me to the conclusion that sometimes the things we tell our girlfriends about our husbands are often based on our own fears and are not always reality. There are four myths about men that we’ve all been holding onto for way too long. Let’s discuss:
Men don’t really care – about anything. Most men actually do care. They care about their wife and family very deeply. They care about making you happy, and they even care about the way they look. The reason women believe men don’t care is because we think they don’t listen. The truth is, they just listen differently than we do.
Men have no fears. When your teenager wants to go on the roller coaster you refuse to ride, you ask your husband to take her because he couldn’t possibly be afraid of a roller coaster. Some men are actually very afraid of roller coasters. Men worry about a lot of things. They worry about finances; they worry about what’s going on at work; and they feel a lot of pressure to make sure you’re happy. They actually spend more time worrying than we do because they carry a lot of responsibility on their shoulders.
Men are emotionally detached. Men have emotions. They may not always show them because they are expected to hide the fact that they are sad or scared. They’re supposed to be our rock. Share in their emotions, and they will connect with you on a higher level.
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Men are confrontational and demanding. A good, responsible man will communicate with you effectively. If you’re doing the same, there will be no demands and no confrontations.
Ask yourself if you are doing everything you can to bring out the best in your husband. Decent, hard-working, responsible, loving men are wonderful human beings who want a meaningful relationship with their wife. They want to care for you on every level, so let them. And then return the favor.
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Janeen Diamond was a newscaster for KUTV News until 2001. Since then, she has been actively producing commercials and special programming through her company, “Your TV Spot.” She has hosted several television and internet productions and has been a spokesperson for many products and companies. She authored her first book, “Save Your Marriage in 30,” hoping to help families have greater success and live happier lives. She is co-creator of “Teen Impact TV,” a website for high school students to give them a creative and emotional outlet. Janeen is a contributing expert for HopeAfterDivorce.org, FamilyShare.com and LAFamily.com. Visit Janeen’s websites here and here, or follow her blog.