Five YourTango Experts debate about how long you should withhold the truth.
When we fall in love, everything seems so simple. We want to be with someone and that someone wants to be with you too. But unfortunately, the rest of life isn't as simple as all that. We're entangled in other committments other than our romantic relationships whether it be our jobs, our kids and other family matters. So at what point do you owe it to a new partner to give full disclosure of your past? And at what point should you expect the same in return?
Schiffman says that you should bring up your past when there is a new level of intimacy, but beware of what you might hear about the other person. "Do you really want to hear everything about them?" says Schiffman. "You tell them when you really want to hear everything about them."
"If, all of sudden, you get into a committed relationship and you agree on full disclosure," says Paxton, "but now, you've disclosed things that maybe should've been disclosed before you got to the committed relationship, now you've got a trust issue going on."
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