5. It's fun. It's not every day that you get to be a character you only fantasize about. Plus, getting to share the experience with someone you love is even better.
How do I engage in role play?
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Communication and trust are important for role play to work. Both parties need to be on board for the scenarios. Tell your partner what your role playing fantasies are and ask them if they have any. Discuss your levels of openness to each suggestion; what may be a wild turn-on for you could totally turn them off. Sometimes a costume or sexy outfit helps bring the role playing experience to life.
Also, you may consider the use of a "safe word" if one of you becomes uncomfortable in the heat of things. Step 5 of our Better Sex® 6 Step Program to Ignite Your Sex Life webinar series discusses methods for engaging in role play with your partner, including dominant-submissive. Most importantly, you want to be sure your partner is okay with whatever role-play scenario you have in mind and that you discuss it with them beforehand.
Depending on the scenario you pick, you may want to say some sexy lines to create the mood. For example, if your fantasy is a teacher-student relationship, the teacher may ask the student to stay after class for a "one-on-one tutoring session." Below are some example fantasies and lines you can use to set the mood.
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- Nurse and patient: "Why don't you take off that gown and show me where it hurts?"
- Exotic dancer and client: "Would you like a private lap dance?"
- Job applicant and interviewer: "I'm very thorough and detail oriented; let me show you."
- Police officer and citizen: "Perhaps we can work out a way to make this ticket go away."
But role-playing doesn't necessarily have to involve a fantasy scenario. Why not think back to when you first met: What got you hot for your partner? Were you strangers at a bar, long-time friends, coworkers? Reenacting that scenario could be just the thing that'll get your spark back!