'Men Are From Mars' Expert John Gray On Love, Stress & Careers

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'Men Are From Mars' Expert John Gray On Love, Stress & Careers
Q&A with John Gray, whose newest book "Work With Me" tackles gender relations in the workplace.

7. Are women too emotional?

The bottom line here is that men are just as emotional as women, but about different things. And they express their emotions in different ways. And because we have different ways of dealing with emotions, we tend to misinterpret the other. Men will tend to externalize their emotions, which seems threatening to women and shuts women down. Women tend to internalize their emotions, quite often cry or something like that when a man wouldn't, and he sees that as a sign of weakness and misjudges her.

 

8. Are men insensitive?

Women feel that men are intentionally insensitive, while men are really like a bull in a china shop much of the time; it's unintended and unconscious. In many, many ways men are just oblivious to what women's needs are, their sensitivities and their reactions to things, which is why we have these blind spots.

So the key here is learning from each other, as we look at some of these differences, which by the way are not for everybody, but they do show up in big numbers. Like when we look at the statistic of women feeling men don't listen: It's 90 percent of women who feel that way—we're just reporting what women say, not making up stereotypes.

And when it comes to not feeling appreciated, 48 percent of women, out of 100,000 surveyed, feel that men don't appreciate them. So these are real peoples' experiences and what we're doing is sifting through them, organizing them, and helping everyone make sense of what may be their blind spot. And if it applies to you, then it can be helpful in understanding the opposite sex, and in improving your relationships at home and in the workplace.

 
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