The Beginner's Guide To Sharing Fantasies Through Dirty Talk


Talk Dirty To Me: How To Share Sex Fantasies Through Dirty Talk
We all talk dirty in our heads. Now let's actually verbalize what we're thinking!

Ever want to talk dirty to your partner but aren't sure how to do it? Are you shy and don't know the words to use that won't offend them, or make you feel silly? Or maybe you're thinking about the sexy things in your head that you want to do to your partner and you would love to say them out loud, but you don't have a clue how to begin to verbalize them. 

If you're thinking sexy thoughts, you can make the transition to talking "dirty" in bed, if you're curious about what that might be like. Trying it a few times, you may realize that it brings an erotic energy into your lovemaking that you didn't know you had. Some people aren't very verbal in bed because they prefer to enjoy the moment and internally comment on the experience. "This is awesome, wow she's great," or "He's doing this perfectly ... yeah, baby!” are all examples of internal dirty talk. Most people do it, and lots of people let it slip out occasionally. Want to know what to say if you're considering making those internal thoughts part of your actual lovemaking?


Then you are ready to start verbalizing those hot fantasies out loud. Even if you;ve tried in the past and failed, or gone too far, you don;t have to worry that some things are better left unsaid if you follow my suggestions.

Talking dirty can be a hot and connecting thing to do in bed. The idea is to crank up the erotic energy and bring you closer together. And you want to end up feeling a little bit embarrassed afterward: That's the goal. 

The reality is we talk the least about sex with the person we are actually having sex with. Talking about sex, particularly during sex, can be hard for most couples. But for most women, desire starts in the mind—the largest erogenous zone of the body, and talking is the single best way for women to get turned on. The best way to fire up arousal is to start gradually, even with a reluctant partner. Talking about sex teases a woman along through ascending levels of arousal, leading to feelings of sexual desire in her body.

Start with appreciation. A man could say, "I love the curves of your body. Your skin is so soft." Or if you're a woman talking to a man, tell him how hot you think he is. "You are so hard and strong; it turns me on so much."

Then, move on to what you want more of: Keep reading...


Learn more about the Liberating Side of Being Together:

This article was originally published at Durex USA. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tammy Nelson


Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC email me at

Location: Ridgefield, CT
Credentials: LPC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Sex Therapy
Other Articles/News by Tammy Nelson:

How Did You Know About His Affair? Maybe You're Psychic


Most of us have an intuitive sense that we either dismiss or tell ourselves is just our "imagination." But sometimes that intuition is telling us something important about our relationship; perhaps even insight on whether your partner has or will have an affair.  Intuition is defined as "the ability to understand something immediately, ... Read more

Miserable In Your Marriage? 3 Signs That Divorce Is The Next Step


You have been thinking about leaving your marriage for a while. Tossing and turning through each sleepless night, you struggle with one burning question: "Should I leave?" Here's what you need to know before you make that final decision.  First, no one can decide for you. It is only you who can make the choice to dissolve your marriage. ... Read more

Would You Stay Together If Your Partner Cheats?


If you have ever been cheated on, you know the pain and heartache that comes from betrayal. The hurt can last a long time, maybe even years.  So why should you stay?  Your friends and family will tell you “once a cheater, always a cheater.” But is that always the case? These days, 65% of couples stay together after an ... Read more

See More

My Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular