Sex

Why Women Lie About Their Number Of Sex Partners

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lying about your number of sex partners

When it comes to sex, my favorite gender double standard is probably the one where a guy who's "allergic" to condoms is a liar and a creep, and a chick with the same terrible latex malady is a keeper. The rest of y'all seem to be hung up on the "sex number" game. Are you still lying about your number of sex partners?

Here's the deal: We celebrate the dude with lots of partners. I believe Wilt Chamberlain had several parades to commemorate his boudoir efforts (because it couldn't have been his basketball success against smaller and athletically inferior opponents). But we disrespect women who do the same. Can we talk about this?

You can practically taste the stomach bile foaming as Madeline Cahn sings "I've Been With Thousands Of Men" in Blazing Saddles. You can rattle off the rationale for this attitude: risk of disease, children of dubious/unknown patronage, lack of appreciation for female sexuality, you name it.

Technology and an untold amount of poking, rubbing, and prodding have begun to relieve some of those issues, but our double standard persists.

A study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that men and women are still lying about their "numbers," despite the fact that the sexual revolution happened more than 60 years ago. Jealousy and the reality of sexual currency partly flavor this recalcitrance. And while sexual competency is generally gleaned from experience, men generally fancy themselves a Jacques Cousteau when it comes to plumbing unseen depths.

However, the best reason I've heard for this dichotomy's persistence is that it's really easy for women to have sex with someone new. We laud a man who manages to worm his way into dozens of different Spanx because you know how difficult it is to get those things off.

Gals mostly just have to say "yes" to any guy with a spray tan to score. But this worm is also turning. Women, across a wide age spectrum, are becoming more honest about their interest in sexual variety. Maybe it was porn or Sex And The City or those in-home dildo parties or Lewinsky-gate, but the gals finally said aloud, "I like sex  and not just the position where his sweat drips onto my face."

Obviously, some percentage of the population can't get over using sex for anything other than procreation within the context of marriage. Guess what? Screw 'em. Rather, don't; let's make good adult decisions and let everyone's philosophy end at her own bedroom door.

Sex tends to stir up intense feelings in even the hardest of us, so be more respectful to one another. Learn to communicate what you like without (necessarily) grabbing the back of a partner's head and protect yourself at all costs against disease and any pregnancy that is not mutually-intended. Because there's no reason to continue lying about your number of sex partners.

Check out the video below to learn more about how women can embrace their sexuality: