Why Emotional Intimacy Between Couples Leads To Better Sex


Why Emotional Intimacy Between Couples Leads To Better Sex
Plus, seven ways to build that emotional intimacy.

3. Be trustworthy. Develop your trustworthiness by only agreeing to do what you are willing to do. And following through by actually doing it. If you agree to mow the lawn, then mow the lawn. If you know you can't do something, then say "No." People will trust your word if they know you follow through and do what you say you will do.

4. Be respectful. Always treat others as you want to be treated. Learn to value your spouse's ideas and perceptions. You don't have to change their mind to make them agree with you; just know it's okay to disagree sometimes.


5. Believe that your relationship is more important than either individual's needs. Those couples who protect their relationship above their own individual desires do better and are more satisfied than those who are "me-focused." Focusing on getting your own needs met sets you up to be disappointed with your spouse. If your goal is to have a happy spouse, then you should focus on making sure your spouse's needs are met. When your spouse's emotional needs are met, they are more open and interested in meeting your needs. Now you have a positive feedback cycle instead of a deprivation cycle.

6. Believe that serving your spouse is ultimately best for you. As both of your needs get met, you feel good about yourself and your spouse. As both people benefit from the relationship, your emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy needs are met better than ever.

7. Be a safe person for your spouse. Create a safety zone for your partner free from verbal or physical assaults. The better you treat your spouse, the better you will be treated. This means stopping all put-downs and blaming. Own your mistakes and apologize. After all, how you treat your spouse ultimately affects your safety and stability too.

If you take time to cultivate emotional intimacy through the above list, your sex life will be better than ever. If you and your spouse feel emotionally connected, you both feel better about yourselves and each other, which can lead to a more satisfying sex life. If you like slow, gentle kisses, then tell him. If you prefer Hollywood-style passionate kisses, then ask for that. The point is to talk about your needs and desires and follow through with actions that please your partner. Be curious about when you get off-base with each other, and find a way to connect emotionally. As you meet each other's needs, emotional intimacy grows.

Article contributed by

Teresa Maples


Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT

Wanting something more from your relationship?, Join my newsletter. and you will recieve free practical relationship tools helping you develop a closer more connected relationship.


Location: Tacoma, WA
Credentials: CMAT, CSAT, LMHC
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Sex Addiction
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