So I took the plunge. No, I didn't elope to Las Vegas like I have always wanted to, but something close. I finally signed up for Debi Berndt's Engaged in a Year Mastermind Program. Finally, I must get to the bottom of why I do what I do in relationships. First clue: it's all about my Inner Adam. The Inner Adam, as Berndt writes, is the only man I need to understand to true love.
Berndt says that the Inner Adam is a woman's subconscious man and kind of a template that drives her relationships with men. In my case, it's all James Bond's fault. Actually, it's all Sean Connery's fault. How? When I was five my dad allowed me to watch a James Bond film while he fixed the car. He figured it would occupy me and since he wanted me to be a first born son, dad preferred me to watch Dr. No (of all films) instead of some chic flick.
For some reason, Connery/Bond became my archetype of what a man was. No wonder I can't stop watching TV crime drama and have been addicted to the Law and Order series since junior high and have to watch Crimminal Minds every night. It's also behind why I love my German Shepherd attack dog and wish I could have him certified as protection trained. No chi-chi toy dogs for me.
So what does having James Bond as my Inner Adam have to do with my love life? Everything. A woman's Inner Adam determines her relationship set-point of how much love she actually will allow in her life. In my case, being mysterious, suspicious, and prone to vanishing (all things associated with James Bond in various films), doesn't allow love in at all.