Where To Start:
Eye-Gazing: Stand facing each other and gazing wordlessly into each other's eyes. It sounds simple and will take no more than 5 minutes a day, but the results can be transformative. "This practice creates a sense of balance and solidarity and fortifies the feeling of being in a partnership," say Johnson and Michaels, recommending the exercise be practiced formally and regularly. "Once the habit has been established, eye-gazing can be employed as a way of creating harmony when there's a feeling of disruption and before having any discussions that might trigger negative emotions."
Tuning In: A more advanced variation on the eye-gazing technique, Stillman recommends sitting cross-legged face to face with your partner and gazing into each other's left eye. Synchronize your breath as much as possible. During the exercise, have one partner offer up a number from 1-10 about the level of attention and devotion they are sensing in the gaze. "Offer the number up without judgment or agenda but just as a snapshot of that moment," Stillman says. "See how softening the eyes or the mouth changes the number." Have the chosen partner say a number every 10 or 20 seconds, and see if you can get to above an 8. Once you do, hold it there for a few minutes, and then switch roles.
Going Solo: Whether you have a partner or not, you can also explore the benefits of Tantra alone—in fact, the vast majority of traditional Tantric practices are individual, according to Johnson and Michaels. Johnson and Michaels recommend solo eye-gazing, using a mirror to spend 3-5 minutes a day looking deeply into your own eyes. "Gaze upon yourself with a sense of reverence and deep appreciation."
Self-Pleasure: "Bringing a level of attention and patience and willingness to explore your own body can only serve to deepen any Tantric practices you take up with your partner," says Stillman. He recommends a mixture of soft touch, slower speed, and deep, slow breathing during self-pleasure. "You can find 'the spot,' this goes for male and female bodies, and touch it much lightly and/or more slowly and keep the excitement at a comparable level. See if you can find a spot just off the main one that is sensitive too and try to expand the zone of pleasure. Keep trying to expand that zone if you can over time."
Written by Diana Vilibert from Care2.
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