Different relationships get damaged for different reasons. Some are still worth keeping, some are just better off unsolved. Some relationships are worth the try working out, but it requires a lot of dedication and attention. Whatever the reason is behind the damage in your relationship, whether it’s a big argument or you’re not feeling the same spark anymore, realizing that your relationship is not okay is the first step in trying to mend it. Below are steps in trying to mend your broken relationship.
STEP 1: Have a talk with your partner regarding the problems and conflict that you two have. You feeling like there is something wrong between you guys does not necessarily mean he feels the same way, too. Be sure to talk it out with him and let him know how you’re feeling about things. Be honest and tell him how different you may feel and tell him the truth about the problems that you two are facing. By openly discussing things, you might discover things about him and his feelings, and it will also give the two of you the chance to more explicitly express your opinions and feelings about certain things.
STEP 2: Agree to making changes and making an effort to make things better. For this promise to work precisely, you need to make sure your partner promises the same. This way, the effort is coming from both parties and the ‘work’ becomes more efficient. However if you think that your relationship is worth saving but your partner doesn’t think the same, or vice versa, then try to find a good compromise that serves the best interest of both parties. You should aim to end things on a mutual understanding rather than a messy, argument –filled break up.
STEP 3: If the two of you do want to mend the relationship and the feeling about making things better is mutual, then proceed to this step. You can start digging up into the past, but make sure you are only doing that for the time being. After talking about past actions, words, and activities that might’ve hurt either of you, make sure to forget about it and not bring it up after your talk. Remember, the goal is not to pass on blames to one another, but rather to seek each other’s fault and proceed to the road of forgiveness to mend your relationship.
STEP 4: Consider seeking counsel from a professional. It will certainly be nice to have a third person in the conversation; that way there will be “wiser” person to interfere and there will be a witness that doesn’t necessarily have a side in the argument. Although it doesn’t work for everyone, couple counseling really helps in terms of bringing both perspectives back to reality, rather than being centered in each one’s thoughts and opinions. A counselor may help in rationalizing reasons and letting either side understand the point and argument of the other. Even a session or two, may greatly help in steering the relationship towards a new perspective.