Marrying an older man has its distinct social nuances. And, there are also legal issues that come into to play, which may or may not determine whether you’re in the relationship for the long haul; and for some men, these issues may also determine whether or not you’re a gold-digger.
Even if you’re in love with your older man and in it for all the right reasons, the fact remains that frequently an older man has had more time in his life to accumulate assets than that of his much younger mate.
Some older men are circumspect in their relationships with younger women and less willing to take the risk of parting with those assets—my man was.
Enter, center stage, the topic of prenuptial agreements. The subject is not one my older man and I addressed until post-engagement. With a $30,000 ring on my finger, it is safe to say that at that point in our lives, he had accumulated more than me.
Having already relinquished nearly 30 years of retirement savings to his former wife, it did not come as a surprise to me when he approached the topic of a prenup. In fact, it was so expected that I don’t even distinctly remember the conversation.
I had always respected the privacy of our financial affairs and had no idea what his annual income was or what the nature of his assets were. Frankly, I had no interest in knowing, because I was with him for him, not for his assets. Not to mention, I was gainfully employed and earned a reasonable living independent of his wealth. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t know there were assets at play, given we were both driving a Mercedes and enjoying a comfortable lifestyle.
Some may be surprised to learn that rather than question the idea of signing a prenup, I not only supported it, I signed it without making one revision to the terms. Essentially, it says that in the even of a divorce, what I came into our marriage with is what I will leave with.
It is reasonable that some women might view a prenuptial agreement as a measure of doubt, on his part, of your trustworthiness. Are you a gold-digger, or are you really in it for the love?
However, I reasoned a prenup wasn’t a matter of him not trusting me, but of being risk-averse and protecting his assets in the event things took a turn for the worse. And who could blame him? I would certainly do the same if I had substantially more assets than my partner.
Some women might bristle at the thought of a prenuptial agreement, but why? If you love your man, do you trust him enough to take care of you no matter what happens? Call me optimistic, but I’m planning for a lifetime, not a divorce, so what’s a piece of paper to me?
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