I recently wrote a piece tracing the history of kissing from Eastern and Western tradition up into modern-day America. It followed the “evolution of kissing,” if you will. But it got me thinking:
When was the last time (if ever) I thought about the history of kissing in my relationship?
Have you ever thought about it?
Too often we let kissing take on a life of its own. It’s just something we do, but not something we actively think about. While this isn’t wrong, it’s also not the best approach we could use to enrich our kissing lives. It’s a little like jumping on a bicycle and just taking off in a direction; you might end up somewhere beautiful, but you might not just as easily. If you take the time to do your research, discover where you’ve been and where you want to go, you can be sure to end up where you wanted to go in the first place.
Thinking About Your History
Like most couples you probably started off your kissing life with a bang. But at some point kissing took a back seat to more – shall we say – “serious” aspects of the relationship. Sure, it still plays a role, but more often than not as a means to an end instead of bringing pleasure all on its own accord.
When did kissing take the back seat for your relationship? For my wife and I it was when we started the leave-every-morning and come-home-every-evening routine. For others it might be the when-we-had-a-baby scenario. For other maybe it was when you hit the when-sex-took-precedence stage. Whatever – whenever – it was, identify it.
Once you know when you fell off the kissing bandwagon, here are a few ideas – based on my study of Eastern and Western cultures, mind you – to help you get back on track.
Establish a New Culture
The Romans had a culture of kissing. A kiss could express anything from submission to greeting to sexual attraction dependent upon the type of kiss. Make up a few of your own and build them into your routine. Here are some examples:
- Thankful Kiss. After your partner has done something that you’d like to say “thank you” for always give a kiss in the same spot, such as the forehead or cheek.
- Greeting & Leaving Kiss. Make this kiss a tad more on the sexual side with a bit of tongue. This will make you want to come back for more later when leaving and set the rest of your day up for a smile when greeting.
- Bedtime Kiss. Savor this one more than the others. This is not the kiss you give your kids before bed. Snuggle up, spend time in each others’ arms and share a kiss that means something.