Just a thought for next time, Ryan Cabrera.
Ryan Cabrera, who used to be famous for dating Ashlee Simpson and resembling a vaguely handsome hedgehog, is making headlines again for yet another poor life decision: an indelible inking of Ryan Gosling on his leg.
Hey girl. Bad move.
That tattoo of the Eva Mendes-defending feminist icon rests comfortably on Cabrera's calf. Don't get us wrong—when thinking of faces to tattoo on ourselves, Ryan Gosling is a pretty solid choice because he is personified perfection, and in Cabrera's defense, they share a first name. But it's gotta be rough looking down at someone more successful and more beautiful than you are every single day for the rest of your life. (Even worse? Having someone else look down at it wishing that's who they were with.)
That said, we're pretty sure the only reason Cabrera went through with a Gos tattoo was his fate in Tattoo Roulette, which is the absolute worst kind of roulette to play, because it's permanent. (Unless you're really rich and a glutton for punishment, in which case, laser away!) Don’t believe us? Let's compare it to the rest of roulette games that will ultimately cause a lot less mental and physical scarring than having the dude from The Notebook etched on your leg for eternity.
Roommate Roulette: It's really annoying when her dog nips your ankles or she leaves dishes in the sink or limbs in the freezer, but dude—a lease expires a lot faster than a tattoo fades.
Boyfriend Roulette: At worst you get a broken heart. At best, you get a hit album. (We're onto you, Taylor Swift. How else do you explain going from John Mayer to a junior in high school?)
Boy Band Roulette: Taylor played this, too, apparently. At worst? You take home the token troll with dreadlocks that every boy band had in the 90s and early 00s. At best? Um, have you heard of Justin Timberlake?
Adoption Roulette: Anyone who's seen Problem Child or The Orphan knows all that paperwork and background checking is absolutely necessary. But there's a chance you can get a Zahara or a Maddox out of the deal, and let's be real: that makes it totally worth the risk.
Haircut Roulette: Dude, it can always grow out, and in the meantime you'll get a lot of PR out of it. Right, Miley? KEEP READING ...
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