A Mother's Influence in Her Son's Life


A Mother's Influence in Her Son's Life
Mothers determine to a large extent how a son feels about himself and how he related to other women.

Sons view their mothers as a role model for what a woman is supposed to be.

Loud and boisterous or meek and mild, a son will view the attributes of his mother or the lack thereof as "right" - the way a woman should be. This can be used by the mother, either consciously or unconsciously, to manipulate and control her son when he is an adult. A case in point: Z. is married to a vibrant beautiful young lady. She is grounded, stable and practical. His mother on the other hand has self-esteem issues. As a result, Z.'s mom is jealous of her daughter-in-law and uses subversive measures to undermine their relationship such as planting seeds of doubt in Z.'s mind about her abilities to mother, keep house, or manage finances. Z. has always thought of his mother as loving and nurturing and cannot dis identify himself from her long enough to see that she may not be "right" on every issue. He sides with his mother most of the time. Consequently, his marriage is strained and Z. and his wife are contemplating divorce.


A mother's attitude toward other men can damage the way her son sees himself.

Even without spoken words, the effect of a wrong attitude can be accurately interpreted by the subconscious mind. Some mothers develop negative attitudes toward their husbands or other men that profoundly damage the development of their son's perception of themselves. For example, a woman who idolizes her husband past the point of healthy respect sends the message to her son that men are worthy of some kind of worship. As well as setting them up for future disappointment s in their own marital relationship, this attitude also is likely to cause divisions between fathers and sons because the son perceives that his mother will never feel the same way about him no matter how hard he tries.

A mother's bitter, angry or resentful attitude is equally as damaging to a son's sense of self-esteem and will ultimately have an effect on his relationships with other women. Mothers who hold onto negative attitudes about men are inadvertently projecting these attitudes onto their sons. Boys think that their mothers feel the same way about them as they do about other men and go to great lengths to counter any negativity for fear of losing the maternal love that they cherish.

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