Here are my 5 must-do rules for keeping the fight monster far away:
1.) Remember to take a few moments everyday to focus on your partner. Listen to whatever it is that they want to say. Don’t judge or feel the need to answer them right away. Just listen. And make sure that they know that you are listening. Good eye contact is critical.
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2.) When you are talking to your partner, take a sec first and check your emotional state. If you are in a generally angry or grumpy mood, gently cut conversation short. Little good comes from conversations when you are in a bad mood.
3.) When you are angry and your anger is already focused on your partner, step away from the situation. Try to keep your mouth shut. You won’t solve the issue with words at this point. You’ll just make it worse.
4.) Discover a way to get your anger out without your partner being present. Many people pick up a solo sport like running are hitting a punching bag. It gets rid of the worst of the negative feelings and it’s good for your health, too!
5.) Whenever you think about it, remind your partner how much you respect and admire them for the unique person that they are. And ask them to remind you when you inadvertently ignore their needs or independence.
Conflict and relationships go hand-in-hand. However, there is a big difference between a disagreement and a fight. That difference is the level of tension and emotional blindness to the others feelings.
These 5 relationship rules are designed to reduce the opportunities for tension, keep you emotionally aware in those moments you might otherwise not be, and to communicate to your loved one, in words and in deeds, that you really do respect and love them for who they are, even if you are grumpy once in a while.
So, follow these 5 rules and watch the arguments fade away.
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