How Jon Hamm's Package Scandal, Er, Hangs In His Favor

Five ways Jon Hamm can profit from his "big" problem.

Jon Hamm
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Call it the bulge seen 'round the world, Jon, Jr.,  or the only body part more distracting than Christina Hendricks' decolletage on the set of Mad Men. No matter what you call Jon Hamm's now-famously impressive penis, it's causing a stir in Hollywood.

Last September, Jon Hamm was photographed going for a leisurely walk through New York City with his girlfriend of 15 years, Jennifer Westfeldt. Aside from the usual excitement over a celebrity spotting, two things were very obvious about the photos: Jon wasn’t wearing underwear, and the guy is extremely well-endowed.

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A recent report in the New York Daily News claims that Jon's significant bulge was so prominent in promotional photos and certain scenes, that the actor was "politely" told to wear underwear by the network powers that be. Apparently, the tight-fitting pants worn by Don Draper in 1960s-set Season 6 meant that Jon Hamm's larger-than-average package was too distracting on camera.

But we think the 42-year-old actor can easily, er, swing things around in his favor. Here are five ways Jon can profit from all the buzz surrounding the new member of his entourage.

1. Score a Calvin Klein commercial. Remember Brooke Shields' commercial for Calvin Klein, in which she states that nothing comes between her and her jeans? Just replace her with Jon Hamm, lounging shirtless in a pair of CK jeans, saying "Nothing comes between me and my Calvins. Except when I'm forced to wear underwear, in which case, I choose Calvin Klein briefs. Size XL."

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2. Secure a role in Magic Mike 2. If those set photos of Jon Hamm in his Mad Men bathing suit proved anything (aside from the aforementioned distraction in his shorts), it's that Jon is in nearly perfect physical shape. Since Matthew McConaughey recently told MTV that a sequel to last year's beefcake film Magic Mike is currently "brewing," we think Jon should be cast as the new male stripper on the ballsy block.

3. Pitch a Dick Whitman spin-off series. Once Mad Men airs its series finale, Jon could star in an alternate universe spin-off. Imagine a world where Dick Whitman never stole Don Draper's identity, and continued the Whitman family tradition of running a countryside bordello? He could pitch it as Hung-meets-The Client List, and insist on full frontal nudity in his contract.

4. Helm a new line of roomier pants for Banana Republic. The fashion on Mad Men is so wonderfully done that Banana Republic released their own mini-collection of clothes inspired by the show's 1950s and 60s fashion. Surely there's a market for men who, like Hamm, have trouble "fitting in." Keep reading ...

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5. Create a new Mad Men drinking game. Every time Jon's manhood enters the frame, take a shot of Canadian Club whisky—Don's brand. Everyone will be just as happily buzzed as the ad execs on-screen midway through each episode.