Ever get into a raging "discussion" with your wife, boyfriend or It's Complicated about management of the TiVo? The fracas may've lasted days but it wasn't really ever about about the allocation of television recording, was it? Yeah, well you're a totally reasonable person and you solved the problem without the need for Johnny Law to insert his crew cut and hippie stompers into the equation. And along the way you may've learned a lesson or two about communication and expectations.
But the champions of humanity you're about to meet have no such thoughtful reconciliations nor ability to keep the peace in their own homes.
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1. After puberty, every pair of testicles itch. I'm willing to bet even scrotums toting fewer than the standard complement benefit from a good scratch. The Smoking Gun reports on a couple who needed the police to intervene when an argument over the politeness of that act while someone was dining.
2. A couple in New Port Richey, FL was out for a wonderful brewskis and wingies. A second and third step, mini-golf and a motel, respectively, were suggested by the missus. The Tampa Bay Times tells us that the price tag on the after-party led the couple to a date with a deputy.
3. And in Daytona Beach, a couple down for some spring break fun may've let an unsubstantiated allegation of infidelity ruin the good times. The Daytona Beach News-Journal reports that first the bullets were literally thrown at the allegedly offending boyfriend and then a dozen-and-a-half of them were launched at the fuzz when they intervened.
4. It's not only the Sunshine State romances that become violently unhinged over almost nothing. The state of Maine, per Bangor Daily News, had an incident involving a missing iPod, threats of death and, of course, the timely arrival of the boys in blue.
5. Spin tells us that the age-old question of "Slash versus Eddie Van Halen" led to a the arrests of a pair of hard rock lover in Cleveland, OH.
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If you're keeping score that's three Floridas, one iPod, two guitar gods, 18 bullets, $100 and one itchy set of balls.
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