Is Your Marriage Worth Saving?
Many of us dream of living happily ever after just like what happens in the fairy tales. We like to believe that after kissing many frogs and finding “the one”, everything would be smooth sailing. Completing this fantasy would be a perfect wedding followed by a romantic honeymoon to an exotic destination. It wouldn’t hurt to have a house with a white picket fence, 2.2 children and perhaps a pet dog. Years later, this illusion of happiness would shatter with the D-word.
“I want a divorce.” Before you jump the gun and get legal services to aid you, take a deep breath to calm yourself. In fact, take several breaths if you must. Divorce is not something you can decide on a whim just because you got carried away with you emotions. There are some things that you must consider first. Don’t sign the papers unless you’re absolutely sure. If feel even the smallest hint of hesitation, maybe these things will help you decide.
Children are the first and foremost priority that you should consider whether or not to get a divorce. In fact, many couples have chosen to stay together just because of their kids. For some, this amicable arrangement has worked and has even led to reconciliation. But if staying married will only lead to children witnessing constant bickering and explosive fights, then it might be better to separate than to let them grow up in a turbulent environment. If you do divorce, make sure you do it amicably or your kids will end up horribly scarred by a bitter custody battle.
Sometimes, trivial problems can be blown out of proportion all because of lack of communication. Do you often take to your husband about your concerns or do you keep them bottled up inside? Repressed feelings can build up bitter emotions that make you lash out at your bewildered spouse. If you have problems, talk it out instead of assuming that he can understand what you’re thinking without saying a word. Men are not mind readers. If the lack of communication is coming from him, then encourage him to talk more. If talking doesn’t get you anywhere, at least you tried to reach out to him first.
Have you fallen out of love? This is one of the common reasons that couples heading toward divorce cite when heading for splitsville. But sometimes, the root problem lies in not spending enough time together. You can blame work for your marriage falling apart, yet in the end, it is really about setting priorities. If you’re not ready to let go of your relationship, set a trial period of reconciliation. Try to work things out and let your career take a backseat for once. Go ahead and take marriage counseling if you think it can help. Air out issues that have lain dormant and try to resolve them together. Only when they become irreconcilable can you seriously consider divorce.
Marriage is not easy but neither should it be compared to a dating game wherein you can jump from one spouse to another. It is a serious commitment and you should exhaust every possible option before you decide to permanently separate. Divorce should always be a last resort when all else has failed. Still, the decision whether to divorce or not to divorce is entirely up to you.