A decade ago in New York it was predicted by one of the most famous and well-respected intuitives in the world, Laura Day, that my soul mate would be this hero law enforcement officer and/or former Marine. True story. I'll take a lie detector test to prove it. I also have recordings of the session for evidence. Everything she ever said has come true since then .... except this wonderful sounding man in uniform.
More from YourTango: Love Animals? Here's A Sneak Peek Into What They Are Thinking
In 2012, I thought I found him. The man met every checklist in the long ago reading's description. The only problem was .... he wasn't seeking me at all. He didn't even like me. An understatement it is to say it was a major letdown. Yes there were others who crossed my path since 2002 who were viable candidates for the hero of my intuitive seer's vision. This man had much in common with those others with one exception. I actually went on a date with him.
My lingering sadness about it is not about him. He is not the issue. Nor is he truly at fault no matter how much I can believe he tricked me. Some days I really think he did. Most days now since "Healing Heather" came into my life, I am very aware and own up to realizing that I tricked myself first and foremost .... a long time ago.
No, the psychic wasn't wrong. She was right. What she accuratley perceived was an interpretation of images from my own mind. Images that resulted from being a fan of James Bond films and Law and Order episodes since elementary school. Being a Catholic is about trusting Divine will. So when I saw a psychic it laid the foundation to be tricked. Not by the seer but by myself. There are some things one should not know. This was one of them. Now I am in repentance.
More from YourTango: It's Science: Sorry, Your Partner Knows When You're Faking It
The blue moods are all mine and mine alone. Yes, I genuinely liked him and felt both the intellectual and physical attraction that had been missing from the others I dated. Sure there was Joseph and Andy before him. In fact, I had actual romances filled with mutual attraction with these other two. They were forgotten easily when it was over since both lacked the mental mind melt with me that I want.
Yet, when the psychic's supposed prime candidate showed up, he melted my mind and warmed my heart. Double dose of disappointment when he said he wasn't interested. My final verdict was and still is, I surrender once and for all despite my innocence. I surrender to the seeking of a beloved. I made a decision to make a baby instead. I am beyond done with this love quest of my own.