I want someone like Hugh. Not Mr. Jackman himself but a man like him. Every time I see an interview of Hugh and his wife it restores my faith that there are good men out there. The devoted kind in a sea of the perpetually non-committal Peter Pan types. Unfortunately, I’ll forever want someone like Hugh, as an idea. I’m fine with that. Any trust I have in someone being sincerely interested in getting to know me died thanks to the Colin Farrell doppelganger.
Just like the actor, Colin Farrell’s doppelganger decided to selfishly move on from his last relationship by playing unfair in the dating game. He presented himself as Hugh Jackman when he was far from it. He created a false rapport with me to such an extent that my guard went down. Something it rarely does. Since I was genuinely approaching dating to get to know someone, I was tricked and paid the price emotionally.
All is fair in love and war? Yes and no. Not if someone has an unfair advantage. Years ago there was a movie on late night TV about a woman whose diaries were read by a burglar. Instead of robbing her apartment he set out to use knowledge of her diary entries to trick her. So he went on to romance her by fulfilling her dreams, even the ones she never told anyone. She thought the kind of man she was looking for really did exist. Sort of … but not really.
Nowadays be mindful what you write online or post in chat boards, even the private ones. If you have enough material out there it works like a diary depending on what you said. So when a man gathers from your digital footprint that you are seeking a Hugh Jackman type based on your relationship history, reviews of Hugh Jackman’s movies on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.com, and presents himself as commitment-oriented and family minded, the door to your heart opens too soon because you felt a false sense of safety or comraderie. Colin doppelganger did more than this. He mimicked my major interests as topics he knew about to make it seem like we shared those interests. The truth was .... we have nothing in common.
Colin Farrell’s doppelganger was intelligent enough to use my writings over the years to deconstruct my personality. He knew where I had been, where my perspectives were coming from, and how my emotional responses could be triggered at will to create positive regard. What seemed like bonding over dinner was totally false but he used his knowledge of me well. He clearly spent the time reading my online book and film reviews, so it worked. It hurt to realize that I was tricked for the benefit of his selfish and self-serving motivations. It was not so much about being lied to but how someone could be so heartless to use my own thoughts to lead me astray. He successfully made me feel comfortable around him even though he didn't like me as a person.
The only reason he took me to a French restaurant was because he paid attention to my Meetup profile. I am a member of several French language learning groups. On one hand I should have assumed that how it works with the wonders of Google. I just never realized someone could take a Google search on my name that far.