You love to be very close to your romantic partners and have the capacity for great intimacy. You often fear, however, that your partner does not wish to be as close as you would like him/her to be. Relationships tend to consume a large part of your emotional energy. You tend to be very sensitive to small fluctuations in your partner's moods and actions, and although your senses are often accurate, you take your partner's behaviors overly personally. As a result you tend to act out and say things you later regret. There's a way to reach greater happiness in your relationships though. In ATTACHED, we help you understand what makes you tick as an anxious person and teach you some of the best kept secrets of secure people. This can help you move toward a more rewarding relationship
In February 2013 I got this private message on Meetup. A man in San Diego saw a picture of me on my profile. It was a photo taken on a casual day without any makeup or fancy hairstyling. So when this Drew Brees look-a-like former semi-professional baseball player turned real estate investor contacted me, I thought it was prank. It wasn't. This was the message I got:
"hey, hows it going...My name is Nick. I like to do yoga, into most sports .....i'm 6'1, 190lbs, 37yrs old, no kids, never married, non smoker, never used meetup before, can text me if like, in chula vista"
Since he included his number I verified that his name really was Nick and he did indeed live in San Diego. Nick wasn't too from my place in Santa Monica. Before I knew it he was re-arranging his schedule to see me. No matter how hard I made it for him he would make himself available. Heather said he was a gift and asked me: Will you receive it. I did but all Nick did was complement me on my appearance and never really tried to get to know me beyond that. The guy never asked me for an entire two months who my favorite author was even though he knew I liked books. Nor did he ever ask if I had siblings. Beyond that, his frequent comments about my physical appearance were so alien to me I dropped him. All he every talked about were my measurements. Seriously, non-stop, and for the first time in my life I felt like I was the subject of locker talk right in front of me. Hello ... I'm a person? My brain works!
So I told the Drew Brees look-a-like: "I don't think you are what I am looking for but nice."
That was it. He tried to pull me back into communication with him for another month but I was done. Ironically, I didn't know about The Quest until after getting to know Heather in a miracle moment after discovering May Cause Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein. Heather was a fellow reader and we hit it off through BodyTalk.