Because let's be real, she definitely didn't expect anything like Tinder.
Remember when your mom found your sex ed book and launched into a diatribe about how "heavy petting" (yes, that was a glossary term) is what led to your consummation?
Oh... just me? Well, lucky you.
Now don't tell her we told you, but here are five front runners:
1. Timing > Love
It's possible your mother imparted on you the infamous "timing is everything" wisdom, but it's more possible she opted for the far more optimistic: "love conquers all". The fact is, the first one is true, and the second one isn't.
There will be people you'll love in your life, who'll also love you, but that doesn't mean they're the "forever" ones. That is possibly life's biggest lesson: love isn't always enough.
And what's more frustrating, you might be compatible with this person, and everything seems so easy — but if someone's not ready to move forward, they just won't. It's like a boulder, you can't move it on your own and you'll exhaust yourself trying, not to mention waste your time.
Still, there is a silver lining: these same people serve a significant purpose in your life, and more importantly, help both shape your character as well as make you realize what you want and need in a partner.
2. Don't, Um, Suck In Bed
Well, my mom actually did tell me this, in a somewhat round about way, but it was so shocking I'm convinced this isn't normal.
When I was in high school, she received a wedding invitation in the mail, and informed me the two people getting married were both virgins — then said this verbatim: "Can you imagine? Talk about missionary position forever."
It's only now, more than 10 years later, I realize what she really meant was: don't be afraid to experiment a little before locking it down, and especially with your current significant other.
3. Sex Spells — They're A Thing
What is a sex spell, you ask? It's an unexplainable desire and pull towards someone you'd likely never even be in a serious relationship with, but you're both completely infatuated with for little to no rational reason.
This doesn't always have to equal great sex (though it almost always does), there's just a natural, almost unshakable attraction— and at certain times in your life even more fulfilling than love.
4. Good-On-Paper-Guys Are Often The Ones You Need To Watch Out For
You've heard of sociopaths, right? Well, it basically goes like this: that guy your mom's best friend wants to set you up with — the one who's on the partner track at his finance firm, comes from a great family, and compliments your mom's even dubious fashion choices — yeah, well, he could be a big fat shady liar.
Inside tip: beware white lies — they are more character defining than one whopper.
5. A One-Night-Stand Doesn't Always Equal Doom
Don't get me wrong, I'm not necessarily condoning these. But there are times when getting caught up in the moment makes you feel alive, and exactly what we need (just be safe!).
While I'm grateful my mom scared the bejesus out of me when it came to sex, as it's prohibited me from making a multitude of careless choices, I've realized as an adult you shouldn't beat yourself up if you act on said moments. What's important is that it's a moment you want to act on. Because who knows, maybe there's a reason you did.
Fact: I've known marriages that have resulted out of a one-night-stand. Sorry, Mom.