Can an On-Again, Off-Again Relationship End in the Real Deal?


Can an On-Again, Off-Again Relationship End in the Real Deal?
Melanie Mar gives advice on whether or not an on-again, off-again relationship can end in marriage.

By Melanie Mar

Happy endings happen in all different ways. So, when someone asks me if a relationship has staying potential when it’s constantly on-again, off-again, the answer is “yes.” Contrary to popular belief, on-again, off-again relationships can be the real deal.


All relationships, at some point, go through turbulent and challenging times, which may result in a breakup or even breakups, plural. Even so, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t one day be walking down the aisle together. Case in point: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake. If the reason for the split is not of an immoral, unethical or a very serious nature but instead due to timing, immaturity, financial stresses, etc., and the two of you have a deep, emotional and mental connection, there is a good chance that you will reconnect again physically.

If, however, the relationship is volatile and unstable with high-highs and low-lows, it’s not healthy. I wouldn’t recommend anybody committing to a long-term relationship of this type. If you have a steady, calm relationship that has gotten off track because of a small matter, then resolution may be achieved.

I understand you may be missing your ex and feel the need to contact him or her, but before you repeat previous behavior patterns, ask yourself these questions: What is the fundamental issue that is causing your breakup(s)? And what can you do to stop it from happening again? Maybe consider some outside assistance from a therapist. If you do make a plan to see each other again, come with a solid idea of what you’re willing to commit to with regards to establishing a solution moving forward.

Related Link: Can You Be Friends With an Ex?

Don’t call someone just to say, “I miss you.” This action will lead to you both falling back into a dysfunctional relationship and making the same mistakes.

Don’t jump into bed and have make-up sex either. It’s tempting to do when high chemistry is present but will only mask the underlying problems temporarily.

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