You’ve known your spouse for so long that you know what makes them happy or upset. So from time to time you practice doing both. But in most cases, you want to prove how awful they’re making life for you by getting them upset so that they can retaliate with something equally mean or hurtful. So you drop subtle hints about taking custody of the children; or you make derogatory remarks about their habits, appearance, family members, the list goes on. It’s called pushing their buttons and your time with them gives you a lot of ammunition. Anyway, why not, they pushed you to it.
Midlife Crisis Sign #11
You play the blame game. You can’t really think about any major faults of your own. So you think about and/or say things like:
- We don’t go out any more.
- We don’t have any fun together any more.
- I’m not sure I can continue living with you
- You never….
- I’m not trying to blame you (but by implication you are)
Midlife Crisis Sign #12
Your spouse makes some effort to change. They’ve done some soul searching about how they could have done better and start putting some effort into it. But you think, “Too little, too late”. As far as you’re concerned, there’s NOTHING they can do that will change things. All that pleading and begging is getting you down, you just want to move on.
Midlife Crisis Sign #13
Despite the fact that you’re not happy about your marriage and you want a different life (preferably with someone else); you get really upset if they file for a divorce. Why should they be the one to take the initiative? If you see that they really want to go through with it, you’re going to make things really difficult for them. Anyway, they’re filing for divorce or suggesting a separation shows that they never really wanted it to work in the first place. As far as you’re concerned, they’ve shown their true colours now and you’re going to let everyone know it!
Midlife Crisis Sign #14
The divorce or separation finally comes through (I hope it doesn’t after reading this). You’re now free to do all the things you really want. What a relief, you can now live the life you’ve always wanted. You’re free to date or carry on your affair (if you had already started it). Then you hear that your ex has started or may be starting a relationship with someone else. You’re not sure if you really like it, but of course you won’t admit it.