Chelsea Handler's 10 Funniest Quotes About Love

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Chelsea Handler
This is the end. At least for Chelsea Lately.

5. "I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second ... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order."

6. "Our relationship finally ended when he took to waking me up in the wee hours of the morning when he would go surfing. He thought it might be fun to have me come watch. 'Fun for who?' I wanted to ask. I had never asked him to come to happy hour and watch me drink."

7. "Men don't realize that if we're sleeping with them on the first date, we're probably not interested in seeing them again either."

8. "Along with 97 percent of women who can see, I've never been a fan of redhead men."

9. "I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I don’t see why I wouldn't. I'm fair game, it's not like I'm that picky, you've seen the guys I've dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, 'Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!'"

10. "I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends."

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