It's no surprise that using a lubricant can enhance your sex life. But what about the rest of your love life — communication, emotional attachment, and intimacy beyond the bedroom? Writer Amanda Green talked to three women about life before and after lube to find out how they came to start using lubricant and how it changed their love and sex lives. What they had to say may surprise you!
Siobhan*, 33, had never used lube until she got pregnant with her first child. "It wasn't that I didn't know about lube or felt there was a stigma," she says. "I just never really felt like I needed it." Then Siobhan experienced vaginal dryness, a common side effect from hormonal changes, during her first trimester. Sex was painful. Siobhan's husband bought multiple types of lube to try out, in order to keep physical intimacy alive.
"It was kind of like playing a game!" she says. "We eventually decided on a favorite lube together and had to get creative with different positions as my belly grew." Lube didn't just help with the mechanics of sex, it helped Siobhan learn to love her changing body. She felt sexier than she had in a long time. "Now I think it'll be a regular part of our sex life, whether we 'need' it or not," Siobhan says. Who knows? It might eventually help her and her husband make baby #2.
The Informed Explorer
Many people first experience lube in the context of a sexual relationship. But Jackie*, 28, learned about it from volunteering at her college student health center ... while she was still a virgin. One of her duties was preparing free safe sex kits equipped with condoms and lube.
"I knew all about these items I'd never used myself," Jackie recalls. "When I finally starting having sex, I had no problem telling James [her boyfriend] that I wanted to use lube. It seemed totally normal to me." It was, of course, but James was a bit taken aback. Though he'd been in a few sexual relationships, he'd never used lube before. The two of them learned to love lube together, and Jackie has used it regularly — with or without her partners — ever since. "Even though James wasn't a virgin, and I was, I felt kind of proud that I was the first person he used lube with," says Jackie. "Just because I was less experienced, didn't mean I was clueless about having good sex."
Lex*, 30, has a different story. She first used lube with the encouragement of her sensitive — and quite well-endowed — boyfriend, Aaron. "Not that I'm complaining now, but the guy's packing some heat!" says Lex. "Sex the first few times without lube hurt." Aaron and Lex went lube shopping together and reaped immediate benefits. Keep reading ...
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