Healthy Strategies for Healing a Broken Heart

I was 23 years old when Brian broke up with me, and for the first few weeks after he said goodbye I thought it was the defining moment of my life, something I’d never get over. We’d been high school sweethearts, already together for six years by then. Everyone, including me – especially me – assumed we’d eventually get married. Well, Brian missed that memo.

I’d experienced the traumas and dramas of puppy love, breakups and makeups in middle school and early high school. But I’d never truly had my heart broken until Brian told me he was too young to be tied down in such a serious relationship. In retrospect I know he was right; we were both too young.

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My first reactions weren’t the healthiest; I packed on about ten pounds thanks to late nights spent crying and digging into a quart of ice cream with a serving spoon. I called Brian almost every day, sometimes begging him to come back, sometimes just to start a fight. I felt crazy, depressed and more than a little desperate. After about of month of spiraling downward I decided it was time to get myself together. But how?

Healing After a Break Up

Exercise: The first thing I did when I crawled out of my hole was get back to the gym. From a biological perspective I knew that the endorphin release that happens when we exercise was good for lifting depression and relieving sadness. From an emotional perspective I also knew that I just felt better about myself when I exercised regularly – still do. Running on the treadmill and taking a couple of dance-style classes every week lifts my spirits and helps me feel like I can accomplish anything.

Join a gym, buy a treadmill for your home or connect with a local walking group, but start exercising if you need to mend a broken heart.

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Diet: Not only did I need to lose those ice-cream pounds, but I decided it was time to learn how to eat healthier and take better care of myself instead of depending on a boyfriend to do it. I guess getting dumped helped me grow up in a strange way. I learned there were foods that could actually help relieve depression. Salmon, tuna and olives – all those rich-in-omega-3 foods can help you sleep better and decrease anxiety and sadness. Brown rice, quinoa and whole oats are all low-glycemic whole grains that can help prevent mood swings. And foods that are high in vitamin C, like cabbage, help ease stress.

Look to the Future: Instead of wallowing in the past I began looking to the future. Since the age of 17 I'd identified myself as “Brian’s girlfriend.” Being on my own gave me the chance to figure out who I was, what I liked doing and where I wanted my life to go. If Brian and I had stayed together I probably never would have taken the Italian cooking class where I met my new best friend who eventually introduced me to her boyfriend’s college roommate -- the man I recently became engaged to.