From the moment she began speaking, I was in awe of her sincerity. It was surreal to hear how important and significant she saw me as in having changed Rockko for the better after leaving him. Mica told me that he had confessed every horrible thing that he had done to me but lied about for as long as I can remember. He felt ashamed for his inexcusable behavior and greatly missed my daughter very much as he brings her up all the time in talks they share together.
Isn't that how it always goes? Once we've taken a good thing for granted and it disappears, we long to have everything back the way it was before our ignorance got the better of us. There was long time relief and validation for how great I had been in our relationship in hearing that he had regrets. Even though the confession was being relayed through her instead of him, I felt like I had finally won the war I thought I would never get resolution from.
Mica held back tears as if I had saved a life, one that she proclaimed meant so much to her as he had been one of her best friends since they were teenagers. It isn't every day that one will get a genuine heartfelt form of gratitude, especially one that is sung from the mouth of a person you didn't believe you'd ever meet. It took almost six years for me to get beyond my paranoia and open my mind to the idea that she was as sweet as she appeared to be. Not every ex/woman is out to destroy another womans' relationship. While it may be a common staple in my dating history, I was lucky enough to have crossed paths with The Exception and made a wonderful friend out of the deal. I will always have a guard up when it comes to protecting myself from being hurt and losing the ones that I love, it's just in my nature to defend the life that I want and very well deserve. The thing about that logic though is, if it's meant to be mine, I don't need to sacrifice my sanity and self respect for it. A woman may come along and tempt my other half, but if he's worth keeping around, it will be my side he'll be choosing, not a short lived fling.
I'm thankful for what Mica did for me. She reaffirmed my faith, proving that there are those who have no secret agenda by wanting nothing more than to see the ones she once loved blazing down a new path of their own. She has been happily married for quite some time and a devoted supporter of my work. We even discussed my writing this piece so that I could share with others that even if a fantasy relationship may come to a grueling end, something wonderful could very well result from it. I may never be one hundred percent comfortable when it comes to exes of mine or the one that I'm with, but at least I have this one special experience that I can fondly embrace. As author Jodi Picoult quotes, "Some lessons can't be taught, they simply have to be learned."