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I wanted to hate her.
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I wanted to take everything that she was that I couldn't embody and use it as logical reasoning to why she was the sole obstacle preventing my relationship from progressing. My then boyfriends' ex girlfriend lived states away, but through consistent emails, texts, and pictures she sent him, it felt as if she were living right next door. Her presence was a constant reminder every time the notification tone pinged on his mobile.
I REALLY wanted to hate her.
'Rockko' worked as a new cashier in the retail store where I handled produce. He was attractive, charming, and appeared adventurous with stories of travels overseas due to coming from a military family. We were able to share common ground and begin from this base as I to come from one myself. Rockko and I moved far too quickly in our relationship than we should have. Being a newly divorced single parent cast an unspeakable fear over me that I could no longer be choosy over partners, I'd be lucky that anyone would date me now.
Being cheated on and left for an ex or another woman was notorious behavior from the vast majority of guys I've been involved with. It was never something I had sought or hoped would happen, it just always seemed to result in that outcome. So within the first six months of dating, the standard 'Ex Talk' most people dread but have regardless, took place. Not one woman he spoke of was berated or slammed, all were poetically raved about for each of the memories they left with him. His favorite, I came to find out, was a young gal named Mica whom he proudly went on about having been a model. This was a prideful moment he regaled upon anyone who would listen while in my presence. He was so boastful that you would have believed HE had been the beauty queen himself.
At first his adoration was cute. How a man speaks of women in his past says a lot about him. If he's angry and blames all or most, it could be a red flag for anger issues. If he speaks so lovingly (and frequently), more than likely he's still carrying a hearty torch with her name on it. I would find out exactly where Rockko stood on the issue soon enough...