10 Tips For Talking Money With Your Spouse

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couple paying bills together
A new book from two financial gurus seeks to end money conflicts for married couples.

Money can't buy love, but there's no arguing that it plays an important role in relationships. It provides leisure and security, comfort and necessities.

But money can also come at the expense of a marriage, leading to fights and even divorce. According to The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language, a new must-read from married financial experts Scott and Bethany Palmer (aka "The Money Couple"), 70 percent of divorced couples largely attribute their split to financial problems. All couples fight about money — even if they have plenty of it. It's because each spouse has his or her own approach to finances, what the Palmers call a "Money Personality," and as you know, opposites often attract.

The solution? Identifying and understanding each partner's unique money personality to better work together as a financial team. Here are 10 tips to get started. Trust us, it'll pay off.

1) Figure out your Money Personality.
Your Money Personality developed long before you got married. The 5 Money Personalities helps each spouse identify their Primary and Secondary Money Personalities among the options of Spender, Saver, Security Seeker, Risk Taker and Flyer. Think back to your first paycheck. Did you sock it away in a savings account or did you invest half in a high-stakes investment your I-banker friend told you about? Did you use it for daily expenses or treat yourself to new clothes? Once you and your partner know your Money Personalities, you can work to build a stronger Money Relationship, the Palmer-coined term for the "daily decisions you make as a couple in which money is involved." In other words, your Money Relationship is more than a balanced budget and savings plan.

2) Try viewing money from your spouse's perspective.
Once you and your spouse have identified your own unique Primary and Secondary Money Personalities, it's time to walk, well spend, a mile in each other's shoes. Make sure you take the other perspective with empathy instead of judgment. It's a way of better understanding your partner's views on money, so you can find middle ground in your Money Relationship. Bonus: Tell your spouse one thing you appreciate about his or her approach to money. Keep reading ...

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