The year is coming to a close and you still haven’t found that special someone. So if you’re truly ready for love, why not make it your 2013 resolution? While love does seem to happen when you’re not exactly looking for it, there are things that you can do to work toward that goal. Cupid spoke to a few relationship experts and came up with five resolutions to help you get closer to finding “The One.” Keep reading to find out what they are:
1. Show yourself some love. “Start dating yourself and do for yourself what you want someone to do with you – stop waiting around and treat yourself well. Once you get an appetite for that, not only will you be better able to find someone because your best self will be out there, you also won’t stick around for what doesn’t feel right,” said clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, M.D.
It might sound cliché, but it wouldn’t be said if it wasn’t true – you need to love yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with someone else. So go ahead, take yourself on a trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go or simply order in dinner and have a glass of wine or two. As long as it’s all about you.
2. Get out of your comfort zone. “Commit to putting yourself out there at every opportunity. It doesn’t matter where you go or what you do, as long as you can meet other people there. Even going to a movie with a friend can lead to something more – you can start a conversation with a cute guy in line. You simply never know,” advised author and marriage/family therapist, Jane Greer, Ph.D.
Go even further and make a resolution to do one thing a day outside of your comfort level – a concept that is explained in Durvasula’s “You Are WHY You Eat,” a book on making better choices in health, love and life. “Go out for coffee alone, join that online site, tell your friends that you are ready to meet people – one thing a day. Then once a week, do something unique – visit the planetarium, take a cooking class or join the yoga class in the park. Try and make it something where there will be other people. I acknowledge that it can be the loneliest in a crowd, but they are not going to come to your front door,” added Durvasula.
3. Resolve to be in the best shape of your life – this doesn’t just mean your physical health. “It means that if there is an area of your life that is not working, then you need to make a resolution to restore balance in that area. If you have been ignoring health issues, then you should make a resolution to go to the doctor. If your finances are a mess, then you should make a resolution to get help from an accountant,” said life coach and dating expert, Jason Weberman of North Star Coaching.
Whatever it is (and it may be more than one thing – that’s OK!), figure it out and focus on improving that area of your life so there won’t be any obstacles in your way of finding “The One” – and more importantly, having a long and healthy relationship with that person.
4. Break unsexy habits. “This should be the year that you vow not to think negative thoughts every time you step out of the shower. Set the expectation to have at least one positive thought about your body when you look in the mirror,” says founder of Pure Romance and relationship expert Patty Brisben. “As the year progresses, keep adding positive self-talk until you are completely in love with the person staring back at you.”
It’s true – confidence is hot and attracts others to you. So stop talking about how gross you feel or how you wish you were better at your job and do something about it. And then believe it.
5. Have fun. Love happens when you least expect it so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to find that special someone…and don’t forget to enjoy the journey as well! Overall, it’s about knowing (and loving) yourself and then putting yourself out there so you can find someone that is not only worthy of you, but someone who is right for you and who you can have a great life with.