I often get asked a question you all have wondered and probably asked yourself too.
Why is it so damn difficult in understanding my partner? It should be easier than what it is, shouldn’t it?
More from YourTango: Love Bytes: A Guy's Take On How To Find Real Love
Once I get past the trivial issues like leaving the toilet seat up and misunderstandings in short statements that later get taken out of context, we’re left with the basics.
Humans all communicate poorly.
Think of it this way: it isn’t so much that you have trouble understanding your loved one.
The real issue is you both have challenges in communicating with anyone at all!
It’s a broad and sweeping statement I know but hear me out and leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Are You a Surface Dweller?
How well do you think you understand any person if you haven’t been able to determine the right way that they themselves process information?
Some people need time to mull things over whilst the other end of the spectrum, there are those that prefer spontaneous conversation flow and work things out as they go.
Which one are you and which one is your partner?
For that matter, what about everyone you work with and each family member too?
The easiest method is simply ask them ‘Hey, I think we sometimes convey our ideas and intentions poorly. How do you process stuff in your head?’
Expect the same result if you continue doing the same things
The question is articulated for internal thinkers and is conversation bait for those of us who prefer the opposite.
The Desired Relationship Outcome
Both people involved also need to understand the reason for the question too.
This isn’t about subterfuge or deceit - open and honest communication is vital.
More from YourTango: 8 Double Date Ideas
Your Turn Now
Thanks for reading this far and I know it’s just the tip of the relationship iceberg.
Please leave your comments below as well as share the article with others.
- What’s one other area you’ve been caught in understanding someone?
- Have you personally discovered a good way in better relating?
Author Bio: Martin is a practising relationship counsellor, Marketing Advocate and published author. You can check his latest ebooks Winning in Divorce and Long Distance Relationship Success at his relationships advice website, GeekandJock.com