Successful, independent, beautiful, sassy, chic, powerful and tenacious are all badges of honour that women wear to describe the modern women’s freedom to be all she can be. Unfortunately, those same esteemed titles lead to another title for women: SINGLE!
Yes, we all like to prove our successes but the reality is that most men prefer the nurturer and none of these above characteristics attract the opposite sex, or at least not the ones we would be interested in. If you are this type: “Alpha Female”, you have had your share of “accepting” less than you deserve just to find a glimmer of hope of finding love.
Personally, I have dated the thirty year old broke student, the unemployed forty-something “has been” and even a twenty-something pretend pilot. We accept all their flaws unconditionally including: I have no money to take you out; I don’t like to plan too far ahead excuse for a date 3 days away and the ultimate acceptance of Erectile Dysfunction.
Should we as successful women really have to “settle” so far beneath our capabilities to acquire a companion? The answer is: likely if you continue the same pattern of finding that significant other. Here are my top ten tips for achieving success when dating:
1. Change your brand – Although your brand has been successful for your career it most likely needs to be adjusted for the different audience. The product doesn’t need to change but the marketing does. For example, when filling out an online dating profile, talk about your nurturing qualities and not your business skills. I was a big sister, I like to bake cookies, I help my elderly neighbor, etc. are good examples.
2. Keep the mystery – Don’t divulge your entire life story from day one. Men are not communicators by nature and really don’t want to know too much. Don’t tell them more than they have asked for but don’t make it seem like you are hiding anything either.
3. Let them lead – Don’t call and ask for dates or call them just to talk. If they are not calling, they are just not that into you. If you need to talk call your best friend instead!
4. Be a challenge – When they do call or ask you out don’t be too accessible. Make them give you proper notice. They need to know you have a life and it is a privilege to part of it. Keep the phone calls brief and have an excuse to politely get off the phone within 10 minutes. Be a challenge but don’t make them think you are not interested either.
5. Let them think they control the conversation – Men like to talk about themselves and really are not that interested in what others have to say. They are better talkers than listeners for the most part but they are not great at talking either. They like to feel the power of controlling the conversation even if you are the real one controlling it. Use your given womanly skills to draw them out and get them talking about themselves.
6. Dress the part – If you want a one night stand then dress that way but if that is not what you are looking for then stick with conservative clothing that sets the right tone. Subdued colours in solid prints works best and shows your nurturing side. Vibrant red says lets have hot fun so stay clear of vibrant colours until the timing is right.
7. Network in the right places – You are not likely going to meet Mr. Successful hanging out at the local tavern. Get involved with activities that your dream candidate would likely be involved in.