There is no one secret that will allow you to win back your ex boyfriend, unfortunately. But in this article, I'll explain the two main things you need to do if you're dead set on winning back your ex. Let's not waste any time - here are the 2 critical things you must do in order to win him back:
1. Make Your Ex Miss You
More from YourTango: Love Bytes: Are You Making These Deadly First Date Mistakes?
While this may sound like an impossible task (after all, how could you have the power to make your ex boyfriend miss you?) but it's actually pretty straightforward when you think about it. What is the one thing that must take place in order for you to miss someone? That person must be absent from your life... either physically apart from you (such as when a family member might be working overseas for months at a time), or unable to contact you or speak with you at all.
It's actually pretty easy to force the latter on your ex boyfriend: in order to make him miss you, you simply need to cut off all communication with your ex. This is called the "no contact" phase and it's a concept advocated by most breakup experts, including me.
By not speaking to your ex at all for a month or so (shorter or longer depending on how long you and your ex were together) you'll force him to live without you when he's not used to going more than a day without interacting with you. This is almost certain to make him miss you on some level, even if he won't admit it.
2. Show Your Ex Boyfriend He Made A Mistake
The underlying reason why your ex boyfriend broke up with you in the first place isn't actually that important. What's important is that, in the weeks and months after your breakup, you demonstrate to your ex that he made a mistake in choosing to break up with you.
You will want to show him this through actions, not words. Because you cut off all communication with your ex (as explained above) he'll be forced to find out what it's like to live without you... but you need to take it a step further by show your ex boyfriend that you don't need him and that he can't just magically snap his fingers and have you come running back.
How can you show your ex that you're not needy, and that you've got other men lining up to take his place by your side? Many ways...
More from YourTango: Is The 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Lingerie Too Tame?
- Carefully make your ex a bit jealous by using social media or mutual friends to make sure he knows you're dating someone new or that you're out partying every weekend. Jealousy is a powerful ally if you're careful about it.
- Take up a new hobby or finish a project you've been struggling to find time for. This 'new you' will make you more desirable in the eyes of your ex.
- Get a makeover. Physical appearance is important to men, and a new look can go a long way.
- Go out and partake in as many social activities as you can. Your ex will be surprised at how easily you can cope without him.
There are many other strategies you can use to get your ex back, but these two key methods described above are both important fundamentals. Good luck!