Because this man and I frequently worked together, we had to remain PC in work situations. Whenever we went out, I was always paranoid we would run into co-workers or friends. I've seen Paula Broadwell photographed with Petraeus for the press, or promoting his biography on The Daily Show, pre-scandal, and wonder how she held it together. We might imagine a mistress to be mischievous or conniving, but in reality we are always on alert, wondering when we will be found out.
If you ever find yourself in the making of a relationship like this, be warned. There is no turning back. There is no will power that can make it stop. An affair that is as dangerous as one with a married man who opens up his world to you is all but out of your control, hence—despite the risks, the guilt, the overwhelming emotions—we find ourselves overcome, or quite literally, "All In."