How Evolved From


How Evolved From
The mental equivalent in love complements of Alex and Aggie.

Not everyone has a mental equivalent for love and partnership. Does that mean that such people are destined to live solo? No. Kathryn recommends that they create the mental equivalent through learning from other people. The easiest way to create a mental equivalent, according to Kathryn, is to find a living model of the relationship that you want. In basic terms it requires that you find a real-life couple who have the love you want and through observation and being happy in the most genuine way for them for having their love, you develop a mental equivalent for yourself and your own primary relationship.

Six months after I discovered Kathyrn Alice's book and heard that piece of advice on creating my own mental equivalent, I met Alex and Aggie. Before them, I had been inspired for years by the genuine displays of mutual affection and respect that I saw occur between my favorite actor, Hugh Jackman, and his wife Deb. However, the celebrity couple can only go so far in helping someone develop a mental equivalent if they do not know them personally. In my personal opinion, to cultivate a solid mental equivalent that would work for you or I, requires having the privilege of getting to know a couple who has the kind of connection you want yourself. My apologies for sounding repetitive but I want to assert this point.


Since moving to San Francisco, that only real-life couple who has been that for me are Alex and Aggie who met on I met Alex first. From the start it was obvious how much he just adores Aggie. Alex often says that he looks forward to seeing her at the end of the day. He also talks with delight about growing old with Aggie with their kids and grandkids around them. I believe he once said that he will still be holding her hand and chasing her around the retirement home. So sweet. Alex says this like a typical guy and it's sincere rather than sappy.

When I met Aggie, seeing the two of them interact, was like watching a perfect fit. Think of the puzzle pieces that align perfectly to one another to form a picture. Such pieces click at every crevice. Another analogy is a key that unlocks a door. Alex treats Aggie like a Queen. She is his prize and he has no fear saying it to anyone. When Alex's best friends first met Aggie they practically told him he had to marry that girl. They clearly saw the same thing I did.

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