This commentary was wriitten on my mother's birthday and inspired by it. I've had many friends and colleagues throughout the years who were adopted as infants. All of them had an inner yearning to know or at least meet their birth mother. They described it as an intense tie to a person who is practically a stranger. As children these friends thought constantly about their real mother and father. These people were very much loved and had happy stable childhood memories. None of them would have given up the experience of being raised by their adoptive mother in favor of the biological one. Despite that the pull of ancestry was instinctive, primal, and undeniable. Every one of them began searching for the woman who gave them life as soon as they turned 18. One by one these friends eventually had the reunion with their birth mother. It was no surprise when every one of them reported how the reconnection with their natural mother resulted in a sense of completion. The meeting, in some way, gave each of them a sense of real origin.
"Over drinks at a bar my date revealed many interesting details about himself. He used to live on 'the streets.' He claimed to have 'beat Spina Bifida.' He had had a fiancé in Japan who was open to him dating women while he was in the States. After all those amazing revelations I let him know our relationship would not be romantic. As we walked out of the bar he appeared to be suffering from some sort of stomach cramp. He told me he suffered from severe IBS and desperately needed a private bathroom. I have family members who suffer from Crohn's disease so I felt very sympathetic to his situation. I offered to let him use the bathroom in my apartment. After he had finished using the bathroom, he says, 'I know you said we could just be friends and that's fine. But, I was wondering if I could just watch you pee before I leave. I only want to watch.' P.S. — I did not let him watch me pee." -Miranda, 33