by Panty Parade / Off Go the Panties
So, while it’s true that, “Here, give me a hug,” is better than reaching out his hand to say goodnight, when Butthead Bob leaned forward, arms open wide, I internally cringed: Another bad exit. Pleasant conversation. Check. Flirtatious fun. Check. Nothing overly offensive, obnoxious, nor overtly sexual. Check. Bad exit. I will never see or hear from Butthead Bob again.
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And, I hate to say it, but that’s what happens when you’re online dating profile is just too damn good. These fuckers build you up, get excited, erect small temples in your honor, meet you, chat a bit, size you up, and tear you down as if it’s Tiananmen Square. The entire process takes under four hours.
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In the case of Butthead Bob, he was giddy with anticipation. As we talked on the phone about where we wanted to go he looked up my small business website. He was oooohing and aaaahing all over the place and I got just a wee bit excited myself: Maybe he will be a ton of fun. Maybe he will turn into something real. Maybe he will love me for who I am.